Guys, if you are male, you may want to skip this post...if you want a good laugh...cmon in, sit down and enjoy! HOWEVER, this has NOTHING to do with finances...
My doctor has been after me for 7 years to have a mammogram. Each year, I say "oops, that's right I was supposed to do that"...
Ok, lets stop the story to add a disclaimer here...I support routine care and preventative tests...I just have this fear of pancakes when it is in reference to my body (kidding guys, I have no good reason)
Anyways...today was the day...bright and early I am sitting in a waiting room full of nervous nellies...
and they call my name. I look at the woman next to me and ask if she would like to take cuts...and it relieves some tension as the room fills with nervous laughter...
The testing starts and I am lifted, rolled and manuevered until everything looks right..and this big glass comes down from the sky ans starts flattening....the tech says" I need you to lift your chin"...um I can't lift my chin and watch at the same time...and I am mesmerized (or terrified) by the shape I am taking on....thinking to myself, ok it can stop now, which thankfully it does...then, the tech quickly turns this crank....ok, you girls know what Im talking about here...WTF???...a little tighter just to make sure??? and she says, don't move...LIKE IM GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY BOOB! and then she says hold still and don't breath...LIKE I COULD IF I WANTED TO...I am afraid even a breath of air in my lungs will make things worse...
And then, relief as we prepare for the next side....and part two starts...but for some reason, this time I get TWO FLIPPING CRANKS....(wait till I get my hands on her...if I can ever move again)I think to myself...
She comes back and says, ok now we need a side view...WHAT??????????? Surely you flattened them out enough to see anything thats lurking in there...and if there is anything lurking SURELY you just killed it....???
But to no avail...she smiles and says "Were almost done."...um yeah, In my dictionary it says HALFWAY....
This time I get to hold this bar and twist around and stand up on my toes (ok, the toe part was after the crank)...and what is it about when they say "Ok don't breathe, you suddenly have to breathe???
And finally, the exam is over and although she now knows "the twins" better than my spouse, she doesnt even look up when she says I can go....(whatever! I didnt ask her name so I guess we are even)
I get dressed and head back through the lobby...I look at the ladies and say it's not so bad afterall...just watch out for that crank...
And I head to work, surprisingly relieved that I have taken the right steps for my health.
Ladies, it is not so bad...and it really can save your life...If you haven't had one lately, make your appointment...JUST WATCH OUT FOR THE CRANK!
Ok...but the twins are not SUPPOSED to look like pancakes...
May 2nd, 2008 at 01:46 am
May 2nd, 2008 at 02:29 am 1209695358
May 2nd, 2008 at 02:33 am 1209695606
May 2nd, 2008 at 04:18 am 1209701886
Colonoscopy time.
Joe
May 2nd, 2008 at 05:20 am 1209705627
May 2nd, 2008 at 05:29 am 1209706184
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:30 am 1209724255
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:30 am 1209724259
May 2nd, 2008 at 08:53 pm 1209761584
May 5th, 2008 at 02:34 am 1209954848