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Archive for December, 2007

Last week of 2007

December 31st, 2007 at 09:59 pm

First, thank you to all for your prayers. My dad passed away on Saturday morning. Which is the day after I asked for your prayers. I was able to be away from work the entire week before he died to care for him (my boss is very family oriented and understanding.) I will miss my dad greatly- he was a good, good man.

Today my mom went back in the hospital and tonight she had surgery to put a stint in for a blockage to her heart. So far, so good.

On Wednesday, we will learn if my husband will need back surgery.

Somedays you take it hour by hour because otherwise it gets overwhelming.

I have been thinking alot about a 2008 gameplan and budget. I feel a need to CONTROL something in my life...and finances are one thing I can at least control on paper. RIGHT??

I am taking baby steps right now...especially since life has been so rough.

Honest guys...I really am not down all the time. I swear. Lately theres just alot going on. And I miss my dad. Alot.

I think back to my early blogs...I was home full time, baking waffles for my grandson and taking care of my parents...little did I realize how quickly those would become the ;good ol days'.....


redifining ones self/life

December 28th, 2007 at 08:40 pm

I have wanted to take some time to redefine myself and really decide what I want to accomplish both personally and financially. This time with my dad has made me even more dedicated to making some changes.

This morning, while sitting with my dad, I got online and set up some direct deposits. Savings and vacation. My husband and I do not take vacations and that is something I hope to change. Aside from camping, we do not go on vacation really.

I am also setting up a designated savings account. Even though I returned to work, our savings have been depleated by extended-family needs to the point that we have even incurred about $4000 in credit card debt (in addition). It was not that long ago that our debt was paid off except for mortgage...now we have business debt and credit card debt again. Clearly, financial goals need to be set again.

My dad has been very restless today. I am exhausted. He does not communicate anymore. Id give anything for one of his strong hugs. But those are forever gone. If any of you pray, please, please pray that he passes soon. He has been in so much pain and we are so ready for him to be at peace. If you still have your dad, don't forget to hug him tight. You will miss those when they are gone.

Much financial work to do, but I feel like I took a couple of baby steps today.

Tougher than I ever thought...

December 27th, 2007 at 12:48 am

I won't go into details...but this is tough guys. Not so peaceful for my poor dad. We are on day 3 and it has been the worst so far..not sure what tomorrow will bring.

Hopefully peace for him. He has had a very tough time. Every once in a while he stirs enough and gives me a glimmer of his old self and his sense of humor...but mostly he is talking to the unseen about the unknown...

What will 2008 bring?

December 22nd, 2007 at 09:27 am

Good Morning friends,

My disclaimer to this entry is that I am not in high spirits right now, so you truly might want to skip reading this one.

I have started to type an entry so many times the past several weeks..but always stopped after the first couple of sentences...Things, well, have just continued to be challenging here.

My finances are definately in need of attention and repair...but I have so many other pressing issues- I don't or haven't
made them a priority...something I KNOW I will regret in the not too distant future.

Oregon did give back kicker checks this year (if they don't spend enough, it has to be returned) which meant about $1300 back in the family budget. This is the good news...(although I have to scratch my head in wonder over the rebate since we went over half the year without public libraries due to lack of funding???) Oh well, I have put it into a savings account until we decide what to do with it.

I think I blogged earlier about the tree falling on DD1 and family's 5th wheel and totalling it. The kids were living in it trying to save money for a house. They are now living in, what was our trailer. (Perhaps the $1300 could be used as a down payment on a new trailer for us???)

I had to have BOTH my parents transported to the ER Thursday night. My dad will be realeased under hospice care and will not be going back to the hospital. I am going to take leave from my job to be his caregiver- which, sadly, will be a short leave. My mom is facing a major surgery decision and is not sure she wants to have it if it means no papa to come home to.... ugh. This is the reason I have stopped blogging. It is just to darn depressing. Have you ever tried to admit someone into the ER?? Times two it was pretty stressful. They are now in rooms- at opposite sides of the hospital, so I am at least getting lots of walking in.

To illustrate perfectly the circle of life, however...at about 1am Friday morning, the doctor told me my dads heart is failing...a few minutes later my DD1 broke down and said (just in case papa didn't make it)she had to tell us her news that she was saving for Christas...my next grandbaby is due in August.

My tree is up, but undecorated. Mu gifts are bought- some wrapped, some not. But the spirit is still there. We have so many blessings to be thankful for---it is just really, really hard to focus on those right now.

DD3s 16th birthday is the 24th, we are having her party tonight...minus nana and papa...I am really trying to make it special---boy this is tough.

I can't help but hope that 2008 will bring peace.