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Arrangements

March 9th, 2010 at 06:02 pm

It is a blessing that our minds go numb when we have had enough. Mine did just that at the funeral place yesterday when the guy felt the need to explain cremation (which was my moms wish).

Final expense $1425. Fortunately, my mom had enough money to pay that and the medical bills that I am sure will follow and still have a little left to provide a small token inheritance to the grand and great grandkids. I always told my mom to enjoy her money, that I would much rather sell her last teacup than have money left that she could have used and enjoyed. Of course my kids are eager to learn what is theirs...sigh. Settle down kids. Mom needs to deal with the grief and we need to let the bills trickle in and be paid first. I have to wonder where I went wrong here..when my grandma died I didnt ask for anything but accepted the little musical statue with pleasure when it was offered....and I cherish it to this day.

My parents will was very simple since I was their only surviving child, everything was left for me with thier blessing to use my judgement to decide where it goes. My daughter told me yesterday that my mom had told her over the past couple of weeks where she wanted some jewelry/money to go...which is fine except her siblings might not agree and I am not sure my mom thought it through. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO FREAKIN TOUGH when it hurts so much???? Now they want to have a meeting to discuss it and all I want to do is finish accepting that she is gone. argh.

Oh well...one step at a time.


Posted in general thoughts | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Arrangements”

  1. snshijuptr Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 06:29 pm 1268159378
    1268159378

    Tell them that you cannot deal with this right now. They should be ashamed that she's not even "in the ground" and they're already worried about who gets what. I say let everything sit for at least a month.

    I'm so sorry that you have to face this in addition to your grief.

  2. Ima saver Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 07:57 pm 1268164657
    1268164657

    I am so sorry you are having to go thru this.

  3. gamecock43 Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 07:58 pm 1268164707
    1268164707

    I agree, take your time with this. It's tough and you dont want to regret decisions later.

  4. wowitsawonderfullife Says:
    March 9th, 2010 at 11:28 pm 1268177308
    1268177308

    Please be gentle with yourself. There's no rush to do anything.

  5. janh Says:
    March 10th, 2010 at 03:25 am 1268191529
    1268191529

    Oh, our dear Ray! I'd tell them that you aren't making ANY decisions regarding passing anything on for a time frame like say three months. And, tell them you don't want them to ask about it or give any advice until you specifically ask. Tell them that nothing will be done in that time period so they just need to drop it until then. Unless of course, it weighs on you. But, YOU need time to grieve and heal and that's just adding on pain.

  6. baselle Says:
    March 10th, 2010 at 04:57 am 1268197025
    1268197025

    Ah Ray - the impetiousness of youth needs to meet the voice of reason. Patience, gatekeeper. They aren't in the midst of the great mall sale in the sky where the "inventory must go!". Give them whatever time frame you'd like and remind them that whenever and whatever they "get" they have their whole lifetime to enjoy it.

  7. Homebody Says:
    March 10th, 2010 at 03:57 pm 1268236656
    1268236656

    Death seems to bring out the worst in people. I am very sorry you are going through this.

  8. boomeyers Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 01:38 am 1268271502
    1268271502

    Oh Ray! :-( Wish I could be there to help slay all the dragons for you! So sorry to hear about Nana, but glad it was quick and relatively painless. I will be praying for you! xoxoxo

  9. Frugaltexan75 Says:
    March 12th, 2010 at 03:23 am 1268364185
    1268364185

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Nana. Take the time *you* need to take before making any decisions.

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