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Home > Ok...but the twins are not SUPPOSED to look like pancakes...

Ok...but the twins are not SUPPOSED to look like pancakes...

May 2nd, 2008 at 02:46 am

Guys, if you are male, you may want to skip this post...if you want a good laugh...cmon in, sit down and enjoy! HOWEVER, this has NOTHING to do with finances...

My doctor has been after me for 7 years to have a mammogram. Each year, I say "oops, that's right I was supposed to do that"...

Ok, lets stop the story to add a disclaimer here...I support routine care and preventative tests...I just have this fear of pancakes when it is in reference to my body (kidding guys, I have no good reason)

Anyways...today was the day...bright and early I am sitting in a waiting room full of nervous nellies...

and they call my name. I look at the woman next to me and ask if she would like to take cuts...and it relieves some tension as the room fills with nervous laughter...

The testing starts and I am lifted, rolled and manuevered until everything looks right..and this big glass comes down from the sky ans starts flattening....the tech says" I need you to lift your chin"...um I can't lift my chin and watch at the same time...and I am mesmerized (or terrified) by the shape I am taking on....thinking to myself, ok it can stop now, which thankfully it does...then, the tech quickly turns this crank....ok, you girls know what Im talking about here...WTF???...a little tighter just to make sure??? and she says, don't move...LIKE IM GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY BOOB! and then she says hold still and don't breath...LIKE I COULD IF I WANTED TO...I am afraid even a breath of air in my lungs will make things worse...

And then, relief as we prepare for the next side....and part two starts...but for some reason, this time I get TWO FLIPPING CRANKS....(wait till I get my hands on her...if I can ever move again)I think to myself...

She comes back and says, ok now we need a side view...WHAT??????????? Surely you flattened them out enough to see anything thats lurking in there...and if there is anything lurking SURELY you just killed it....???

But to no avail...she smiles and says "Were almost done."...um yeah, In my dictionary it says HALFWAY....

This time I get to hold this bar and twist around and stand up on my toes (ok, the toe part was after the crank)...and what is it about when they say "Ok don't breathe, you suddenly have to breathe???

And finally, the exam is over and although she now knows "the twins" better than my spouse, she doesnt even look up when she says I can go....(whatever! I didnt ask her name so I guess we are even)

I get dressed and head back through the lobby...I look at the ladies and say it's not so bad afterall...just watch out for that crank...

And I head to work, surprisingly relieved that I have taken the right steps for my health.

Ladies, it is not so bad...and it really can save your life...If you haven't had one lately, make your appointment...JUST WATCH OUT FOR THE CRANK!



9 Responses to “Ok...but the twins are not SUPPOSED to look like pancakes...”

  1. creditcardfree Says:
    1209695358

    You're making me worried! I turned 35 this year and because my grandmother had breast cancer I'm suppose to go for my baseline mammogram.

  2. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1209695606

    Please dont worry...this was all in fun. It really isnt that bad and the risk is not worth postponing, especially if there is history in the family.

  3. joetaxpayer Says:
    1209701886

    Wait till you are 50.
    Colonoscopy time.

    Joe

  4. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1209705627

    I've only had one mammogram, but it was no problem at all. No pain, no discomfort, no fear. It is time for another.

  5. 76Chick Says:
    1209706184

    Mmmm... All I could think about was syrup. Sorry! lol... Big Grin Good for you for going! Hope the batter was smooth, and not lumpy! Big Grin Bad, I know... hehe

  6. dmontngrey Says:
    1209724255

    Oh my! I'm 31 but there's a history in my family so I know it's not long before I have to do this as well. *sigh*

  7. aevans1206 Says:
    1209724259

    Good for you, Ray. Take care of yourself girl! Pancakes or not, we all love you.

  8. clubneary Says:
    1209761584

    Good God, it sucks getting older!

  9. Amber Says:
    1209954848

    lol, after your explaination I think I will pass this year...lol

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