Thrifty Ray's Blog

I received my annual increase and promotion- all in all came to just under a 10% increase. Not bad. And hopefully, next year the increases will be even a little more once these new positions can be equitably scored. PLUS, I received my annual bonus, which goes into a special 2% interest account. I have let this ride for the past year and this account is now up to $7300. (yay) This is part of our emergency savings and it will hopefully just continue to grow until I retire. My goal is to have it hit $20k in 3 more years.

I also started on a healthy eating plan the day after Christmas, so a month and a half ago. I am pleased with progress. I continue to have broth based soups for lunch, lots of quinoa and chicken for dinner, healthy snacks...along with an occasional treat.

Of course, staying on track is easier when I am home alone...the hub is home for the next two weeks and he usually cooks dinners while he is here. I have talked with him about my food plan and dont think it should be a problem.

I have also started decluttering. We have a classified section on our intranet at work, so I have taken a couple of things in to sell and have been successful. Yay! Its a win win to get rid of stuff, make some $$ and NOT have to have a yard sale to do it!!

My middle granddaughter has had juvenile arthritis since she was 2- so 8 years. She has been in remission for a while, but recently started experiencing pain in her ankle again. Poor thing had to have an MRI that also required an IV. She was a real trooper through it. She has been poked so many times that, while she still gets anxious and dreads the needles, she doesnt even flinch. She was in the MRI for over an hour. We will find out the results this next week. As a treat, her mom and dad took her to dinner of her choice and she got a teddy bear. It is so unfair when children have to go through long term medical issues like this. Breaks a grammas heart!

BM is still in jail. Looks like she will be there until mid February. The next meeting for the kids is the day before she goes to court on her current charges and potentially gets out of jail. In the meantime, I had a great time with Z yesterday!

Court went well. BM ended up pleading guilty to all charges and the kids will stay put for now. The judge handed down a long list of things BM must do before the court will consider returning custody and BMs attorney assured the judge BM would comply.

Fast forward ONE DAY and BM was arrested at a drug house in the company of the person she was ordered to stay away from, plus resisting arrest, evading, contraband, etc, etc… …basically disobeying every item on the list from the judge. As of now, BM remains in jail- day 4.

Sigh.

So, we continue on with the system. It sounds like she will receive an additional 6 months to comply with the court orders or likely lose parental rights permanently.

This is court week for the kids. Thursday we will finally learn their fate, at least near to mid-term. Long term decisions will be set in motion by the results on Thursday. The DA has collected ample evidence to fight a good battle for the kids. Hopefully it is enough. You just never know how a judge will rule until the ruling happens.

I am happy to say that the boys are thriving and everyone in the system can tell a huge difference in their behavior from the time they came back into the system and our lives, until now. Any prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes are all greatly appreciated!

I will (hopefully) learn this week what my pay increase at work will be. It feels a little backwards to be offered a position without knowing in advance what the pay is. I think it has been assumed I am all in, but whether or not I agree to the added stress of stepping back into management greatly depends on the compensation behind it. (I know, call me crazy) I am hopeful it will be well worth it, but I won’t know for sure until we have the ‘discussion’.

I decided to sign up for YNAB after giving it a free trial run. I am still not fully sure how to use everything, but it is helping me stay focused on what we spend…which is never a bad thing.

Since the day after Christmas I have been focused in a healthier eating lifestyle and I feel so much better. (I got the stomach flu, followed by a bad cold- which was a nice springboard to the change in eating habits)… I have been making lots of broth based lower sodium soups, veggies and hummus, greek yogurts, etc. I also swapped out the nightly wine for spritzer water with juice or just lemon water. It is amazing how simple changes can really have an impact, but they sure have.

Hopefully these changes will help with weight goals too. We have had a vacation to Hawaii planned for over a year and it is now 87 days away! I would love to be a more comfortable in my clothes for that trip!

This week, the focus is all on the boys…and praying that they continue to stay in our care. (Baby 4 is due in under 2 months and mom is still denying there is anything she needs to change, but freely admits when she thinks no one is listening, that she is doing heroin and then gaming the system when the drug tests are near)

Finger crossed!

2017 is off to an encouraging start. I have always budgeted on a spreadsheet that I created years ago, but gave YNAB a look- and decided to try out the 34 day free trial. So far, I like the ease of the program and really like that it is web based and I am able to access it on different devices. Some of the functionality is a little confusing, but I am sure it will become less so as the month plays out. I am considering subscribing for a year because of the pros of accessibility.

The hubs job is still going ok. He works in the oil industry, which is reliant on fuel production/ prices...we are trying to pay off bills and save in case he becomes unemployed- but for now it looks ok.

I am getting a raise at the end of the month- both annual and promotion. I dont know yet how much the raise will be, but I hope it is enough to fast track debt pay, increase 401ks and increase savings. (fingers crossed)

We still have not had the court date for the kids. Either weather, or Biomom being arrested have postponed court since November. Which means the boys spent the holidays with us. They have now been with us 5 months this time around. They are doing really well. Hopefully the next court date will be a go and we can learn what the long term plan is for them. Z is almost 6, and he has been in foster care over half his life. It is time to give him (them) permanency.

This has been a year of travels- not all planned, but all worthwhile. New York, Arizona, Oklahoma, Mexico...next stop- Las Vegas for a conference for work. (Meaning all expenses paid by my job.) I leave Sunday and will come back Thursday morning- just in time for the next court date.

DD2 was planning to go with me, but that was before she became a full time foster mom again. So, I will be going alone.

This past weekend, I had two of my granddaughters (cousins) over for a sleepover. They have reached an age where they are pre-teen friends. It is such a new, fun dynamic. When their moms were their ages, they fought a lot. Having the daughters get along so well is so fun. We went to a movie, lunch, baked, watched movies at home, decorated the tree...and just had a good time together. I am so blessed.

Not much different happening in the financial scheme. Just trying to keep Christmas spending within budget- and planning DD3s 25th birthday party. She is a Christmas eve baby- this year we are planning her party for the 30th so hopefully more people can come.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Today is black Friday, and I am unmotivated to partake. Part of this is because I am dealing with a cracked rib- which happened on the first day of vacation a couple of weeks ago- on our way to the cruise. Grrr. It is much less painful than it was on the cruise, but it is still causing me to be less energetic than normal. Aside from the rib,the cruise was fantastic. We had an awesome time, and even better, stayed within budget. Actually came home with a few hundred dollars to put back into the travel fund.

The hub starts his 4/2 rotations this go-round, which will definitely help. The extra will go towards paying back the money loaned to DD2 while she is unemployed and not receiving unemployment (hopefully she will start receiving her benefits next week). She will pay us back with her taxes, and that will ultimately go to savings.

Court got postponed for the kids- which was a good thing. It gives the state more time to build their case. The kids have since been diagnosed with PTSD, which is so sad- but the diagnosis will help with the case to keep them here and provide extra counseling assistance. Our next court date is week after next.

Z (5) and I had a sleepover Wednesday night. It was so fun. We played Candyland (he won) we put a puzzle together (he is a master puzzle builder) and we played with blocks...he is getting so big. He is a lot more reserved and doesn't smile as much as he once did..my goal is to turn that around while we have him.

Life is good!

This past month has been crazy stressful.

DH's job continues to look for ways to cut corners, which ultimately is going to cost workers a substantial amount...between health care provider changes, travel provider changes, hour cutbacks....egads. We keep skimming expenses. But it still is frustrating. I am grateful he still has a job.

Thankfully, I am getting a promotion at work soon, and I think the increase in my pay will offset most of the financial hit. I will find out in the next few weeks.

We are taking a cruise next weekend to Mexico. This was planned and paid for long before all this job stuff happened, and we could seriously use the break. Thankfully cruises to Mexico from the west coast are fairly inexpensive. Its our first and we are excited to give cruising a try!

Z update:

We have an important hearing coming up for the kids. Unfortunately, the bio family, rather than focus on fixing whats broke and creating a safe environment themselves (rehab, parenting classes, home visits, etc) are denying there is a problem, and rather, are doing everything possible to disqualify DD2 as a viable placement option. (false reports to her job, the police, child walfare, etc) The stress is taking its toll. Because of the constant distractions, DD2 lost her job. But she is keeping the best interests of the Kids at the forefront. Thankfully, the false accusations are all failing flat, the agencies are seeing right through this... and its only making the case stronger for the kids being removed permanently. I am concerned about whats next once they realize this latest barrage didn't work. DD2 will likely get a restraining order, just to help protect herself and the kids.

The hearing cant come soon enough. Their tactics are definitely out of our way of thinking...who knew it would get this ugly.

If only they would put this much effort into self reflection and counseling...

The northwest is having some fun this weekend with a big ol storm. So far today, it is just drizzling and the winds haven't picked up, but by midday that is due to change.

I am planning to just stay home today. I could use some downtime after the past few weeks. My plan- a puzzle, some baking, some tv, reading, and thats about it. Sounds blissful. Hopefully, we wont lose power, but if we do, I am prepared with flashlights, candles and my wood stove. I have some soup that I can heat up on the wood stove...and plenty of water.

Ive been avoiding the budget the past month. Too many unexpected things have come up. Thankfully, the hubs busy season is about to start and we can get back on track quickly. Barring any unexpected cutbacks at his job, we should be caught back up by the end of January, and back to paying things off for the rest of winter/early spring.

We attended the hearing for the boys this week. BM is out of state, and refusing to admit she has any issues and refusing all help. (She has admitted to one of the fathers that she is still using while pregnant) During the meeting, it became fairly clear that DD2 is becoming the most likely long term placement, as all other options either only want one of the boys (and they wont separate them), or live out of state (and they wont move them from their sister who is here local) or they have criminal charges that disqualify them.

It is very confusing to have 4 children, 4 fathers, 8 sets of grandparents and extended family...for this case. The caseworkers have their work cut out for them.

DD2s approach now that we know this, is to welcome the extended families to be part of our village so that the kids can have close relationships with whichever family they are connected to, while ensuring they are safe, happy and together. Unconventional, yet necessary in this situation.

The last we heard, BM broke up with the dad of the baby she is pregnant with and has hooked up with an old friend who just got out of prison. (Charges: meth and theft)

And so it goes.

My DB had a massive heart attack a couple of weeks ago. He was placed in a medically induced coma and underwent other medical procedures to help him recover. Sadly, he never regained consciousness. I flew back to be with him on day 4 and flew home on day 9...he passed on day 11. Tomorrow is his memorial. I will miss him greatly.

Tuesday is a big hearing for Z and his baby brother X. Their mother has made no attempt to visit them since they were put back in foster care. Nor has anyone else. Thankfully, they both seem to be adjusting well. The baby is warming up to us and is quickly winning over our hearts. DD2 had to cut back her hours at work to be able to accommodate all of the appts the boys have had. They were both way behind on shots and have had all their other normal check ups. So far, so good. I hope TUesday's meeting gives them some much needed stability in their placement. The goal is to keep them together while determining permanent placement.

Thats pretty much been my life lately. My brother and the boys. Of course work in between.

I have been really enjoying everyone's lists. I have learned a great deal about everyone reading them and am happy to see so many others jumping in with their lists!

Today I realized that I made a budget mistake this month. Thankfully, it was in a good way. I get 3 paychecks in September and only budgeted for 2. The extra $$ will go towards debt repayment. (Yay!) I can handle a good mistake!!

The little guys went to children's advocacy today- and got to share their story and thoughts with protective services in a non-threatening environment. It sounds like the kids shared enough concerning memories, that they will be in protected custody for a long time to come. THANK GOODNESS. I am finally breathing a sigh of relief tonight.

I stopped by DD2s after work to deliver the clothes I got at Goodwill and that have been donated by coworkers and friends. It was fun to watch all the kiddos having fun. No craziness in their lives, just good old fashioned, hide n go seek kinda fun.

Years ago, saving advice bloggers posted a list of unique facts about themselves, that helped fellow bloggers and lurkers(- not my word) get to know each other better. Since it's been so long, I thought maybe this would be something fun to do again.

Here is my list:
1. I am married, 26 years
2. I have 4 kids. 3 daughters, 1 son
3. I have 6 grandkids, 3 boys, 3 girls plus 3 foster grandkids, 2 boys, 1 girl
4. I work full time at a job I have been at over 20 years
5. I have blogged here for 10 years.
6. I am a huge Greenbay Packers fan.
7. I once bred labrador retreivers
8. I once lived in a haunted house
9. I wont eat wild game meat
10. I co-founded a financial fraud team that has grown statewide and has stopped many financial criminals.
11. I have only traveled to the US and Mexico.
12. My bucket list destinations include Mt. Rushmore and Easter Island
13. I am fascinated by ancient mysteries (like Stonehenge)
14. My all-time hero is John Wayne
15. I hope to retire in 2020
16. I love to bake.
17. My husband works in Alaska and I only see him about 50% of the year
18. I have lived in 13 houses during my life, and have owned 9 cars.
19. I have a published article and have been on TV 2 times
20. I have met 7 fellow SA bloggers. I hope to meet more!


So, I have offered 20 facts. How many can you share? Looking forward to see what you share!

ps. If you are a 'lurker' who hasnt started blogging yet, what's holding you back? I am SURE you have things to share with our group... JOIN US!! We would enjoy hearing from you!!!

I stopped by Goodwill tonight on my way home to look for fall clothes for J (foster baby, 16 mo). I was able to pick up 3 pairs of pants, 4 tops, 2 zip up sweaters and 2 pairs of warm jammies for $20. ALl of the clothes were good quality and in really good condition. Thank goodness for Goodwill!

While I was checking out, I was explaining what the clothes were for- the lady checking me out said "I have 9 grandkids and ALL of them are in foster care"...She said it was due to drugs and the epidemic we have. I was speechless. I wished her well and left feeling even more frustrated for children. WTH.

I want to try to find some age appropriate toys for both boys this weekend. I am starting with the power of Facebook, and will look for sales, yard sales, etc. we also have an avenue at work for placing classified ads. We have many younger parents who might have toys that have been outgrown. Past experience tells me that plastic containers, metal containers and wooden and plastic spoons will work for the baby. Blocks and pretend play for Z (age 5) and maybe a few books.

So, my mission this weekend is to scavenger hunt!