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Explaining the budget to the hub

May 29th, 2023 at 02:49 am

The hub wanted me to create a written record of our financials in case anything happens to me.  Until now, he primarily has made the money, and I have managed it.  I have a fairly detailed process, but everything is on my computer - he prefers a notebook that we can keep in our safe.  I decided this was a GREAT opportunity to get him more involved with how finances work so that we can hopefully dial in the monthly budget a little more. I found a budget book with pages for listing our accounts, log in information, monthly budget and a register to show how money is being spent and which bucket the money is pulled from.  June is our starting month.  The reason this is so timely is that, just as I had a 5 year plan in place before I retired, the hub is now coming up on his final 5 years for working at his current job.  I want to make sure we are both savvy on the ebbs and flows of our finances and that we are dialed in and able to live within the anticipated monthly budget.

My hope is that this will alleviate those unanticipated wants being an expectation each month.  I will update progress as we go!  Fingers crossed.

Since I will be focused on tracking and explaining expenses, I plan to reduce our food costs as much as possible.  This past week, I used both the hubs and my rewards memberships at our two local grocers to purchase steaks that were discounted.  Each membership also included a $5 discount on top of the digital coupons used.  We got ribeye and tbones to last through the summer for about $60.  😀  Our freezer is stocked with chicken and pork already.  I make our bread, so much of our budget will be juices, fruits, veggies and spices.  I went shopping today and picked up several generic brands to see if there was much of a quality or taste difference.  So far, so good.

I receive my first social security check in August.  I am fortunate in that I have started working very pt for a company that provides care for the disabled and my "clients" are two of my daughters foster sons.  So my work is in her home, helping her care for them about 15 hours a week, which is just under the maximum I will be able to make and draw my social security.  Honestly, this doesnt feel like 'work' at all.  And, this augments the income nicely.  All of my pt earnings go into a vacation fund so that we can still splurge on occasional travel.  Since we have been living within a budget that includes only the hubs paychecks, the SS payments will start paying down our remaining mortgage faster, which will help pay it off by the time the hub retires.

The hub is continuing to contribute to his 401k until he retires.

And that's where we are currently at.  Hope all is well with everyone here!

9 months into retirement

March 25th, 2022 at 12:20 am

Its crazy to think I am in month 9 of my retirement!  As I reflect on these months, a few thoughts come to mind that I wanted to jot down!

1.  Taxes - we got a refund this year for the first time in years and it was significant!  With pre-retirement earnings, we never qualified for any of the stimulous money (since they continued to use our prior years earnings, we didnt receive the stimulous that was available earlier in 2021).  When we filed this year, we qualified and received an additional $5700!!  We also received a good refund aside from that!   1/2 of the money went to our final emergency fund savings which now is $100k.  The other half is in savings for upcoming expenses this year.

2. House payment - I regret not paying off our mortgage before I retired, but we are now paying an extra $1000 per month to the house payment (plus any extra income over budget).  I am finally looking at extra money as $$ to pay on the mortgage.  I wasnt comfortable doing this until I got the emergency fund up to our current level.  

3.  Food - while the hub is away working, I eat as inexpensively as possible.  I found a great recipe that I love using black beans and brown rice, both of which I buy in bulk.  Many meals cost pennies rather that dollars!  Thankfully, FD loves it too...she also loves ramen, eggs, pasta and salads!  When the hub IS home, we have a well stocked freezer of meats to pull from.  As meats come on sale, I stock up!  I also started stockpiling last year during holiday food sales - so we have lots of canned/frozen veggies, and other items we use regularly.

Black beans in the Instant Pot  (cook brown rice separately and combine with cooked beans as desired.  we make a lot of burritos with them)

1lb black beans, 5 cups water, 1 smoked hambone, 3 bullion cubes, 2 TBSP taco seasoning, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 onion diced and sauteed.  I cook for 1 hour and natural release for 25-30 min.

Silly frugal me, puts the hambone back in the freezer and then reuse it for a second batch before discarding it.  Wink

4.  Can/bottle returns - this is new for me.  Previously, I gave our cans/bottles away.  Now I have an account to return them myself and get extra $$.  I am using the $$ to help FD set goals and find ways to save towards the goal.  She really wants a pair of birkenstock sandals this summer, so she is saving her change, helping with the cans/bottles and realizing a little planning helps make a goal come true!  So far she has $35 in can/bottle money and $16 in cash. 

5.  Gasoline - holy gas prices!   Living 15 miles outside of town, we def plan trips to town to cover all errands for the week.  Thankfully, we have the stockpile and rarely have to run to get something outside of our weekly trip.   I generally go once each week to watch my youngest grandaughter and another day to take FD to her appts and all the other errands. 

6.  Airline tickets - Costco offered a great deal of 10% off airline gift cards at Christmas time.  Since the hub travels so much, I bought 10 - $500 gcs for $4500.  This will last us pretty much all year.  I hope Costco does this every year!  I have saved enough to buy another 10 (which is the max allowed) this year!  The mileage he earns goes for fun trips or vacations.  In May, DD1, her newly adopted daughter (13), me and FD (17) are flying down to California for a long girls weekend to celebrate the adoption.  Price for travel: $44 thanks to miles!

7.  Camping - because I am retired, and FD does school online, we can camp anytime we want when the hub is home.  A state perk for foster families is that we can camp for free at any state campground.  Weekends are often booked, but again, our flexibility allows us to camp during the week when spots are more readily available.  We have a beautiful 5th wheel that we paid off before I retired which we enjoy as much as possible.  However, gas prices will likely reduce the number of trips we take this year.

8. Part time job for me - I had thought I would need to return to work part time to be able to have "enough".  However, that has not been the case.  We are making it just fine as is and can still afford to pay house quicker Fostering a trouble teen is pretty much a full time job, especially with the hub gone 3 weeks at a time.  Between appointments, parenting, teaching her independence skills, and helping her feel safe and secure (something she has never had) I am "on" 24/7.  Thankfully I have this flexibility to be a full time parent and friend for her.

9. Time Management - Days can get away from me.  I have enjoyed the freedom to use all this time as I want.  That will not change....but time is finite, not infinite.  I am working on being more intentional with my time, while enjoying not having a schedule.    This continues to be a work in progress.

10.  Enjoying life - YES I DO!

Hello Fall and all the fun that comes with it!

October 1st, 2021 at 03:04 am

I am so thankful that fall is here! With the hot, smoky summer behind us I can get out on our deck more and enjoy the hummingbirds and sunsets again! We have had some rain, which is awesome and the skies are back to blue.

Now that school has started, my days are getting into a nice routine. I am able to focus more on stretching our food budget by using coupons, sales and aps like Ibotta. I am enjoying the challenge of feeding us as budget savvy as possible! (A much easier feat when I don't have a teen with me at the grocery store slipping in all the extras!!)

I watch my youngest granddaughter (20 mos) every Monday. I love our Monday's together - she has so much energy and curiosity. This last Monday we went on a walk and found all the flowers and talked about the colors. She discovered some ornamental frogs in one yard and thought they were funny and pointed out an airplane overhead. I came home exhausted, but had such a happy heart by the end of the day.

Thankfully, the cash outflow has slowed down and we have stayed more within the budget this past several weeks- a trend I hope continues for as long as possible. It is much less stressful when the unexpected outputs aren't hitting regularly...which gives me time to breathe and rebuild the buffer account! I definitely feel more in control financially when the hub is working his three week rotation and the teen is in school.

I am also finally getting back to minimalizing our home. Its been months since I have even had time to think about this but I am pulling it off the back burner now and creating a plan to use my free time to get some traction on this goal!

I talked to all the kiddo's about Christmas this year and how our budget looks much different now that I am retired. I think everyone was fully on board with scaling back. With all the bio's, adopted, foster and inherited grandkids, we are at 17. My brain hurt thinking about even one gift for each. Instead we are transitioning to a family gift. Much more doable and kinder to my sanity. Instead of opening gifts, we will focus on games, food, crafts and making memories. Something we should have done years ago, actually. I don't have a clear picture of what this means, but I am excited about it none-the-less.

Christmas 2020 - bargain shopping!

October 7th, 2020 at 02:29 am

I mentioned in a previous post that we rented a large home to take all the kids and grand kids to in early December, which will be our gift to everyone.

I also wanted to get each of the grand kids a little something to remember the trip by. So I went online to Kohl's and their Big Super-soft throws were on sale for 50% off, or 14.99. By the time the Kohl's cash and rewards was added, (which I will use for friend gifts, and stocking stuffers) each blanket was $9.14. NOT BAD for a nice throw for each child. Last time they got these, they loved them...so I am confident they will be a hit again this year.

The main master bath in the rental has a ginormous soaking/Jacuzzi tub. So I am creating a "spa experience" for whomever would like (kids, adults, etc). I ordered some facial masks and bath bombs and will pick up some sparkling cider to top off the special-ness. I know all the girls and some of the little boys will really enjoy being pampered and taking a turn in the tub. I found great deals on Amazon and all of the masks and bombs cost under $25 total. (Remember, there will be 15 kids there throughout the week, as well as all the adults- so this was a bargain!!)

The last thing I need to get is gift bags for each of the blankets and my little gifts are all done!

I'm sure getting excited!!

Weekend recap

October 5th, 2020 at 03:33 pm

This weekend, while not as productive for my decluttering goals, was a very good one.

DD3 got the keys to her new home and so the weekend was all about moving. Since I am dealing with sciatica, on Saturday, the hub and I took the baby so mommy and daddy could pack.

On Sunday morning, the hub and I took a drive (back roads to a little historical town.) It was BEAUTIFUL. We stopped at a bagel cafe and had bagels and coffee. The cafe is in an old brick building with creaky wood floors that was built in the 1800s so lots of character and charm. Then, we went to a local discount store where the hub likes to get his bullets. However, they were out of all the bullets he wanted. This is a recurring theme, it is harder and harder for him to find them locally.

In the afternoon, I took DD3s baby to DD1s house where we entertained her so that all the heavy stuff could get moved to the new house. Then we met up at DD3s new house for pizza. Her new house is really nice. They sold their starter home to move to a much safer neighbor hood and much nicer home. (As they were moving from the old house, there was a murder investigation 3 doors away while the victim was, partially covered under a sheet in the front yard). (YIKES) So glad they made this move!!

Needless to say, the weekend flew by, and I didn't make any progress on the home front.

This week and next are 4 day work weeks for me. I am taking Friday off, and Monday is a holiday. We are taking a little mini vaca with our dear friends to a resort about 3 hours away. We rented a 2 bdrm house and will spend the weekend visiting, playing games, sitting in the hot tub and just enjoying some downtime.

As for financial this weekend, the hub got a new pair of jeans from the discount store ($32), we had bagels and coffee at the cafe ($17 with tip) and we bought the pizza for the moving gang ($55).

How was your weekend?

Seasonal flu shot, medical insurance and budget stuff

October 1st, 2020 at 06:04 pm

Feeling a little like a pin cushion this morning after getting blood work and a seasonal flu shot. But CHECK MARK, those are now out of the way!

My job contracts with a dedicated clinic that serves the staff of 3 local businesses. It's really nice in that normal and routine things (non-narcotic drugs, shots, blood work, routine visits, etc) are completely free for staff. Things like controlled drugs, xrays, MRIs, etc must go through normal insurance/ co-pays.

Unfortunately, after the end of this month, my job is no longer contracting with this service, meaning I will need to find a new doctor and will go back to co-pays on everything. Its been so nice while it lasted. We also have the option of tele-med. Ive not tried that, but will give it a go and see how it works. In November, I will be added to the hubs insurance plan (since I will be leaving my job next year), so I may wait until then to find the new doctor.

The hub's job is currently on a 4/4 rotation, so he works four weeks and then is off for four weeks. This started post covid shutdown, and may soon return to 3/3 or 4/2. But, until then, 4/4 means we can go almost a month without a paycheck from his job. This is why I budget the way that I do. He will get a partial week paycheck tomorrow, and then another, smaller one, on October 30. Before we were financially able to fund our budget a month in advance, it always felt like we were juggling to keep up. Our silver lining for the stay home order and the hubs unemployment for those 3 months is that we built our savings and now have less financial anxiety!

DD3's baby, 10 months, has started to take a step here and there. She is so stinking cute and growing SO fast.





Christmas 2020

September 24th, 2020 at 06:37 pm

A couple of years ago we tried something new for Christmas with the family...and it was such a hit, the grand kids requested it again this year!

Instead of gifts, we took our kids and grand kids on a vacation to a nearby resort. We rented a house large enough for everyone (8 bdrm, 8.5 baths) and spent 5 days together sharing experiences. Ice skating, hot cocoa, gingerbread houses, building snowmen, swimming, puzzles, games,Christmas movies, shared meals and just lots of time together.

So, by special request, we are having a repeat this year. I reserved the house a year ago and the anticipation has been building up all year.

This cost a little more than our normal Christmas budget, but we also are considering this our one vacation trip this year (thank you Covid), so our vacation budget is augmenting this budget.

I ordered a Mickey Mouse cookie cutter last week, so we can make Mickey beignets one morning, we have a cold case file to solve a murder mystery, lots of assorted games, we will be making some sort of gingerbread creation, I will bring a 1000 piece Christmas puzzle -and so much more. It will also be the week my newest grand baby turns 1. We have 5 Dec/Jan birthdays, so there will be a big birthday party and a Christmas dinner.

We are going early December, which makes it nice for the kids, having one less home to visit on Christmas day!! It also makes Christmas day very quiet and relaxing for me! Smile And eliminates the stress of shopping for 17 grandkids!!

All of the kids and grandkids will be there and EVERYONE is pretty excited, especially this grandma.

With my retirement next year, this may be the last time we can afford to do this, so I plan to savor every moment of this special time together!!


Our growing family

September 18th, 2020 at 06:08 pm

Since I last posted about grandkids, our family has grown quite a bit! I keep thinking we are at capacity and my kids keep surprising me!

DD1- has 2 bios, 2 fosters that they in the final stages of adopting, and 1 foster, who is fairly new in the system, but they are willing to adopt should it come to that.

DS - 2 bios

DD2 - 2 bios, 2 adopted (X and Z!) and 2 fosters.

DD3 - 1 step daughter and DD3 also had a baby girl in December!! (remember when I started blogging here, she was just a little girl!!)

That's 15 grandkids!!

(One of DD2's friends lives in my parents little house here on our property and she has 2 kids, who are just like grandkids to me....so 17 total if you count them, which I do.)

Family gatherings are quite the event anymore. So many kiddos!

Years ago, I set up a special savings account in order to give them each a graduation and wedding gift. I am so thankful that I did. I have deposited $100 a month, and the account is now over $5k. By the time each graduates and gets married, I should have $500 for each occasion. Its not much, but with a family this size, it is what I can afford.

I am blessed beyond belief with all these amazing little humans!! It does make Christmas and Birthdays a challenge- it takes a very organized spreadsheet to keep everything organized!

Health

October 16th, 2018 at 10:38 pm

As I get closer to retirement, my focus on health and health insurance is increasing. Thankfully, I don't have any serious health issues (knock on wood). I am running the gamut of tests this year to make sure everything is in good working order. Big Grin I did get diagnosed with pre-diabetes a couple of months ago. Actually I was borderline diabetes, but the doctor gave me three months to try to change things. At two months in, I have learned so much about nutrition, sugars, carbs, fiber and protein. I check my blood several times a day, work with a nutritionist, move a lot more during the day, and am seeing good progress. I have lost over 20 lbs and my levels have dropped to 'low pre-diabetes' and continue to drop. I really hope this last month will get me where I need to be. I DO NOT want diabetes, especially when it is still in my control not to get it.

Things are going really well at work and it looks like I will finish out the last two years of my five year retirement plan here. That is a good thing, as we still have checkmarks to get on debt, savings, etc. and having that second paycheck will certainly help. I also anticipate a significant raise at the first of the year, which will help even more. Now if the stock market would be kinder...

We are really close to adoption. Everything is done, we are just waiting for the ceremony to be scheduled. DD1 still has the boys' older sister. Bio family has made no attempt to contact her- so after the 6 month mark is up, they will reconsider her permanency (guardianship or adoption). DD1 also still has the other two girls, sisters who went into the system just a couple of weeks after the boys sister did. All 5 of these kids are amazing little people and are as much family as the rest of us. We are so blessed!



The Christmas Jammies

September 28th, 2018 at 12:27 am

We are planning a family trip in December - if you can believe it, it was DH's idea! We started planning and saving a year ago for this trip. It is scheduled for the first week in December and we have rented a huge home in a resort about 4 hours away. All of my kids and grandkids will be under one roof for 5 days! So excited. We havent done a trip like this with all the kids and grandkids since the year after my dad died...so 10 years ago.

When we started planning, we thought there would be 18 of us...we rented the largest house available on the rental site...which was 8 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms. We are going to do Christmas movies, hot cocoa, make Christmas decorations, get a tree from the woods, and just do all the fun Christmassy things we can think of!

Well, since then, DD1 has taken in 3 foster girls. Bringing our total to 21 - (12 kids ranging in age from 3 - 14!). (DD2 would love to bring her boyfriend and his 2 kiddos, but the rental is restricted on how many we can have- and sadly we are at the max already).

One of the ideas DH had was to get all the kids matching or coordinating jammies. So, two days ago Kohls posted an ad for Christmas jammies bogo- 1/2 off. Sweet....so I ran down and bought twelve pair. Of course, the next day, Kohls put those same jammies on sale for 50% off and was also giving Kohls cash... I took the receipt in and they credited me $105 and gave me $40 in kohls cash- bringing the total for each set at about $13.50. SCORE!! I am thrilled to save the extra $$- which with 21 people can easily help with the food budget.

So, I still have plenty of planning to do, but get a nice checkmark on the jammie box!

And, came in well under budget for that line item! Ho-Ho-Ho!

I love planning stuff like this so the next few months will keep me busy putting all the special touches on the plans. I am hoping by the time we go the boys adoption will be final and we can celebrate while we are there. One of the girls that DD1 has is the boys older sister- so, they will all be together for this trip- which will make it extra special for them and us!



Hello! Its been a while!

August 3rd, 2018 at 05:09 pm

So much has happened since I last blogged. Where has the time gone! Even though I havent been active here, I have tried to check in on others' blogs.

Hello!

Well,right after I gave notice at work (literally within seconds) I was told that my job was changing and things in our department were changing...and after hearing about this, I reversed my decision to leave. :0 Meaning, I am still at my job. I still plan to transition to my son's business...I am just not sure what the (new) timeline is now.

So far, with the changes at work I am much happier so I am taking it day by day. Having options gives me a wonderful feeling of freedom though.

My son still needs his procedures developed, so I will be doing that for him on nights and weekends.

DD2's adoption of the boys is plugging along. The process is still on track to finalize by year end. Everyone is eagerly waiting for this final chapter to be done with.

But a major turn of events is that DD1 now is fostering the boys sister (age 9) She had been living with dad's family, but it wasn't working out and they needed a place to move her to, so DD1 stepped up. Of course, we are already like family to her - we have known her since she was 2.

Other than this, things are just moving ahead. DH is still working lots of hours up north and we are still saving for retirement.

Adoption is near! and a change may be in my future!

February 28th, 2018 at 04:18 pm

All the boxes have been checked, except the court saying it is so. It should be any time! DD2 asked if I would co-sign for a mini van. Her current car just fits everyone with no room for friends or others. I think that co-signing is a small thing to do for a daughter who has been so big hearted to the boys.

X's dad got out of prison and has been spending time with him. X gets so excited to see his daddy. The hard part is that Z sees the interaction and wishes his daddy was around too- but Zs dad just doesn't have the drive or capacity to get clean and to be a part of his life, and so we all do our best to help fill in the gap.

The hub has been working a lot of overtime this season. We have used the extra money to build the emergency fund, build a cushion for the months when he only gets 1-2 paychecks, and to pay down debt. I feel like we are well positioned for 2018 now. And he still has at least 4-6 more work weeks of busy season.

My son is still nudging me to come work for him. We have set a tentative date of August. I am ready to change career paths and to go part time, I just need to make sure insurance will work for me (either get on his or be added to the hubs). Working for my son would mean working from home. I love the idea of not having to drive to work every day. I live about 25 minutes outside of town and the idea of not having to make the drive sounds wonderful. I am not super social at work, although I do enjoy interacting with others. Generally when I work, I like to focus. I am sure being alone so much will be a change for me, but I also am confident I can handle it. Big Grin

My son's business is about 5 hours away, and I would need to travel there at least every month or so for a day or two. Of course, that means seeing my grandbabies, so I am a-ok with that!



Make that 6 weeks, and 401k growth

January 13th, 2018 at 06:15 pm

I am enjoying watching our 401k's growth, but it also makes me nervous given historical trends showing what goes (quickly) up, eventually comes down (corrects). Is anyone else nervous, or am I just being paranoid?

The hub worked 28 hours straight yesterday. One of the mechanics who tag-teams with him fell last week and broke his hip, so they are short staffed. 28 hours is crazy- and it's schedules like this that create an environment for accidents.. The hub wants the hours, but not to this degree. The hub also will work 6 weeks this hitch, rather than 5. Not only will he make significantly more with this schedule, but having just me here, our budget drops as well for the month. The extra will go to debt and savings. With our 401k growth, my son paying me back this year and the hubs extra earnings, we are likely to hit my BHAG a good 18 months early- which means work for me becomes optional that much sooner. Smile

Z and my youngest granddaughter (9) are spending the night tonight. GD also invited her bestie to join us. Should be a fun night. X (age 2) really wants to come too, but he is sick and I do not want what he has...so he'll have to come next time.

With everything going on today, it may be tomorrow before I tackle the freezer inventory. Smile

Frugal month and update on Z

January 5th, 2018 at 06:14 pm

This month should be a fairly frugal one. The hub arrived home last night, but because of the winter schedule, he will only be here for 5 days and then will head back up to work. Having to spend for only me for the majority of the month seems to put much less stress on the budget. And I am in a frugal state of mind lately.

I suppose one of the reasons I am thinking more frugally of late is that I am nearing the tipping point to being able to retire. Moving from having to work, to working if I want. I am about 6 months out.. At 57, I am not sure I am ready for full time retirement, but I am certainly ready for part time...however, it will depend on some of the changes happening at work. If things go really well, I will want to stay working at least for another year. If not, then I will shift gears and figure out the plan B. It is a wonderful feeling to have options tho!!

DD2 received the reports on the boys from the state yesterday. This is the report created after our trip to the state office for CPS last month. The report discussed the boys history, primarily Z's and it was a stark reminder of why we have fought so hard to keep him safe now that he is back with us. Reading his story makes my heart ache. Suffice it to say that he was in a bad, dark place for his first 4 months of life and again when he was returned to BM for that year and a half. We new most of the story, but there were other things we didnt know that help explain some of his PTSD.

The good news is that the report strongly recommended giving the boys permanency with DD2 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. And now adoption is in full swing. They are projecting 3 months!!! I can not tell you how excited we are to be here, finally.



Frugal start to the new year!

January 3rd, 2018 at 11:46 pm

First of all, Happy New Year friends!

I have started the new year out with a few small frugal choices. First, my cell phone case broke- so I put one in my Amazon shopping cart for $19.99 and then pondered if that was something I really needed to do....

I pulled out the super glue and glued the broken pieces back together...which worked, but also created poky edges that were irritating my hand each time I used my phone. That wouldnt work... So I found a sander disk and sanded on the poky parts until they were pretty smooth- and finally, I pulled out some nail polish (couldnt find any clear, so I made do with red!) and polished over the repair to smooth things out- and viola! my cell phone case is back in business. Savings: $19.99

Then, I used an old bag of red beans from the cupboard, a ham hock from Christmas, and a can of Rotel- put all in my crockpot and let it simmer all day. I am now on my 4th day of very cheap meals.

And finally, my face scrub had run out. Nothing else would squeeze from the tube. Just as I was getting ready to toss it I thought back to my Tightwad Gazette reading days and decided to cut the tube in half and low and behold- there were at least 4-5 good uses left in the bottom. Between uses, I just put one end over the other and it creates enough of a seal to keep it from drying out- stretching my scrub an extra week or two!

This has got me thinking of other ways I have been not-so-consciously wasting money. My brain is now looking for ways to stretch and save a little. Homemade snowflakes, if you will.

Adoption is going slow but steady. The boys are happy and healthy and doing well. 2018 is looking to be a very good year so far!

Off topic- Turned a corner for Z and X!

November 22nd, 2017 at 08:56 pm

I am cautiously optimistic (ecstatic!) that we have turned a significant corner for Z and X.

We recently took the boys to the state DHS office for evaluations, which is part of the adoption process. Adoption and termination of parental rights (TPR) run concurrently at this stage - in order to expedite adoption as much as possible.

Last week we had court to set the TPR trial, which will be held in April 2018. However, BM went to her local DHS office before the court time and signed the documents to relinquish her rights voluntarily. (We had heard she might be doing this in order to have a more favorable possibility with babies 4 and 5- but she continues to use drugs and violate her court orders, so the likelihood of that happening is very, very low.)

She has 30 days to change her mind on the voluntary termination, which is December 16. If she does nothing, then our last hurdle is the trial with X's dad in April, He is completely in agreement with allowing DD2 to adopt X, he just wants to mediate visitation. (Z's dad is already out of the picture.)

So, we are getting really close to the end of this chapter in the boys lives. They are both thriving and Z is pretty excited for the adoption. X is too young to know whats going on yet.

We have had so many setbacks, that it is hard to get too excited just yet...but we are closer than we have ever been to a long term happy ending!

Public Speaking - Emergency Preparedness

September 30th, 2017 at 04:15 am

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to do a presentation on emergency preparedness. The event was last night. I normally would rather have a root canal than speak publicly, but this topic is one I am very passionate about. I was happy with the outcome, and hopefully there are at least a few people who will be better prepared because they attended.

During the presentation I asked the group who had a family plan in the event of an emergency. Less than 10% raised their hands. I get it. It takes time, it takes money, it takes motivation. All too often the trifecta comes too late.

I would think that Texas and Puerto Rico would be motivation for anyone watching.

So, I pointed folks to the multitude of references on- the county website, the state website, Ready.gov, pintrest, etc. Basically, just google family emergency plan, and there is a plethora of good information. What I like about our county plan is that they provide checklists and templates in their workbooks. Including a plan to build an emergency supply kit over the course of 12 months, breaking it down to a few items a month to make it more attainable for folks on a limited income.

A simple plan is better than no plan. And every little bit helps.

I was asked to put another presentation together, which made me think I must have done ok. Smile

So, do you have a family emergency plan? Can I provide anyone here with linked resources?

Lil Z is having a sleepover with me tonight. It is pretty routine that we spend Friday nights together, and honestly, there isnt a thing in the world I would rather be doing.

Have a great weekend!



Insurance comes through! And an update on Z and X

September 17th, 2017 at 07:17 pm

We have used our homeowners insurance very little during the 23 years that we've owned our home, so it is nice to see our insurance company coming through for us after all the damage from the storm last month. I wasnt sure how it would work, but an adjuster came out and took pictures and talked with the hub and then a couple of weeks later we received notice of payment.

They estimated either replacement costs (minus depreciation) or repair costs. The payment amount is very generous and we are pleased with it. They covered things that we didnt think they would, like a temporary lean-to the hub had put up or labor costs for tree removal, which the hub did himself. Now the repairs can begin. There will be ample left over for the fire pit that we want to build using the hole left by the fallen tree.

We still havent heard about the 5th wheel repairs. That is a separate claim under our automobile policy.
There was cosmetic damage that was done to a couple of the exterior slide out panels, as well as to the fan covers, spare tire cover and to the awning. It will be interesting to see how they estimate everything.

Update on boys:
Last week the court changed Z and X permanency plan to ADOPTION!! Its been a year and DHS and the kids attorney are very much in favor of moving ahead. BM missed the hearing. The next court date is after the first of the year and will be to terminate parental rights. BM can turn this around through rehab and counseling, but with baby 5 on the way, it is looking unlikely that she will...she was in rehab a few weeks ago for a few days, and then skipped out. In the meantime, Z and DD2 are going to get additional counseling for his PTSD. I am starting to get cautiously optimistic that the boys will be staying permanently!!



This whirlwind called life!

August 25th, 2017 at 08:27 pm

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind.

We learned on Tuesday that our insurance would cover the damage from the crazy storm that passed by a few weeks ago. Such a relief. Now the process begins of getting bids and making the repairs. The hub got home last night, so he will take the lead on all the projects.

We have some minor repairs to make on our 5th wheel that will hopefully be made so that we can camp in a couple of weeks.

My boss has been hinting that he may be getting a promotion and poking around the idea of me stepping back into my former role. Ugh. I am going to REALLY have to think about this one. I stepped out of the role because of stress and have no desire to go back to that stress. However, I do think it would be different this time because I would be under his direction and NOT my former boss, who was the main reason for my decision to step out previously. I am still planning on retirement in 2-3 years, so the extra money would sure help catapult our savings goals. I will give it some thought and weigh the pros and cons. Money is no replacement for stress, this I know.

My pinched nerve is better and I am back to feeling normal. I still have to consult with the Dr. about whether or not I should consider more seriously having surgery to keep this from recurring. I suppose things like this are something else to seriously ponder if I am retiring. Better to have my current coverage for a known surgery, than to wait and deal with unknown coverage with likely higher deductibles. But I dread the thought of back surgery and the potential risks that come with it.

Last week we learned that BM is pregnant again (#5). Baby #4 is only 4.5 months old and still in state care where they live. Timing suggests this one belongs to baby daddy 4 who's been in jail the past 3 months, but BM quickly moved on to a new guy who could also be the dad. It is SO FRUSTRATING.

In the meantime, Z and X are doing great. Both are thriving here. Its such a blessing to have them in our lives. I had them most of the weekend last weekend and sure enjoyed them. Z will soon be losing both his front teeth...they are so loose. He smile is going to be adorable as he starts first grade. Big Grin




9 years ago....

August 7th, 2017 at 05:26 am

This weekend was my grandsons 9th birthday.

The backstory is bittersweet.

On December 20, 2007, I was sitting in the ER, as both my parents were admitted as patients.

My mom needed heart surgery for a serious blockage...

My dad was dying with congestive heart failure. He would be discharged into hospice care.

The doctor shared his news about my dad, and DD1 decided, rightfully so, that I needed to hear that I would be having another grandchild.

So on the night I learned I was losing my dad, I learned that I would have a new grandson.

The circle of life, if you will.

My dad died on Dec 29, and 8 months later, my grandson was born.

My grandson is now 9....half way to adulthood.

I miss my dad so much, but am so thankful for these young blessings in my life.

Frugal weekend

August 7th, 2017 at 05:13 am

This weekend was a fairly frugal one.

I spent $23 at the store Friday, for chili fixings and some snacks that I took to the lake on Saturday.

Z and his lil brother 'X' spent the night Friday night and then the thee of us went to the lake on Saturday and spent the day. Today I made chili - which then became a batch of chili bean burritos for the freezer.

DD2 ended up taking Z to urgent care on Saturday with an earache that went from zero to 60 in just a short time. Poor lil guy. He really was miserable until they put him on antibiotics. However, once he started the antibiotics, he felt much better and is on the mend now.

Today I cleaned, did laundry, and just hung out at home. No spend day...

Update on Z and X:

The caseworker is filing all of the necessary paperwork Monday to start the court process of severing parental rights and starting the adoption process. BM is continuing to do drugs...but has started trying to get into an inpatient rehab program. If she doesnt get in by next week, she likely will do jail time.

Baby daddy 4 is still in jail and baby 4 is still in foster care in a different state than her brothers.

and....the adoption process starts!!!!

July 12th, 2017 at 04:12 am

They have determined that the adoption process needs to start. Between now and the final paperwork, there are lots of things that could detour the process, but at least the decision makers have determined the best course of action at this time is adoption of both boys. To say we are excited is an understatement. BM is back in jail, the new baby is going to be placed with an aunt...but the boys will be staying with DD2.

And if I can brag on DD2 for just a sec...she earned a 4.0 on her last transcript towards her nursing degree...one more semester and she can apply for the nursing program. I am so proud of her.

JUst wanted to give a quick update of the good news...

Catching up-

June 10th, 2017 at 10:45 pm

Its been quite a while since my last post. I got sick the day we got home from Hawaii and didnt kick the cold until the end of May. Thankfully, I am better now and life is getting back to normal.

The whiteboard is continuing to keep our monthly spending budget on track. (this is the car fuel, groceries and entertainment budget). Putting it up for both the DH and I to see as we spend has really helped to keep us both aware. Since I started using it several months ago, we havent gone over budget...before we started using it, we ALWAYS went over budget...so it is working!

Update on the boys-

BM had the baby girl at the end of March, she was drug addicted and was taken immediately into foster care. The baby is currently failing to thrive. BM has made no attempt to visit her or the boys/their sister since then. Baby daddy #4 is in jail again and BM has went MIA.

The caseworker here says she will start the permanency process for the boys next month. From what they explained, it is a lengthy process during which BM can ask for help and reset the process clock at anytime. DD2 is ready to do whatever it takes to keep the boys away from the situation. So, hopefully we are getting closer to adoption.

I had the boys all last weekend and they are doing so much better than when we got them 10 months ago! (Can you believe its almost been a year already!) They are so sweet and just want attention and time. And this gramma has that in spades when they are around.






Whiteboard Success!!!!

March 23rd, 2017 at 03:28 am

The hub left to go back to work today. He was feeling a little better, almost done with his meds. Hopefully he will continue to be on the mend and will be able to finish this hitch ok.

Recently, I posted about purchasing a white board to help keep our household budget on track. My thought was keeping it visual would serve as a reminder to stick to the plan.

I am happy to report that, for the first time that I can remember, there is ample funds left in the household account to live on for the remainder of the month!! There MAY even be extra left at the end of the month. WOW. It WORKED.

Needless to say, I will continue to keep the budget on the whiteboard!

DD2 and I are going to visit DS and his family this weekend and have permission to take Z and X with us. Should be a fun trip. No word on whether or not BM has had the baby. We did learn that she and baby daddy #4 pleaded guilty to all charges this last go around. If they are caught together again they will be charged with felonies. Given that they are still together as a couple and about to have a baby, its just a matter of time. In the meantime, thankfully Z and X are still safe and part of our lives! (We have learned BM and her mom have devised a new plan to get the kids back- hopefully the system sees through it, but we just never know)...

I am getting really excited for Hawaii...only 28 days to go....

Success of sorts and an update on Z

March 17th, 2017 at 10:57 pm


Who knew a little whiteboard would resolve so much frustration. Each night I go home and ask DH if I need to subtract anything from the number...and so far the answer is no. He is still spending bits of money here and there, but he is using his allowance. Its not just one sided, I have found that I am doing the same... I think about what I am spending more now and whether or not I want to impact the whiteboard budget. YAY! Success! THis weekend we are going out to dinner and will need groceries, both expenses will be recorded on the board, but we both agreed on the expenses ahead of time. Who says you cant teach old dogs new tricks? hehe.

The review meeting for the boys was this week. The board unanimously voted that the boys should not be returned to BM and that adoption was a viable option. However, I think BM's attorney anticipated this and the week before the meeting BM signed up for drug abuse classes. Basically, that starts a clock for 6 more months to allow BM to show she is trying and to provide a safe place for the new baby and possibly the boys. If she hasn't already, she is due any day. I am certain she doesn't want the new baby put into the foster system. Time will tell if this is a real change on her part, or another game. Baby daddy got out of jail this week, so maybe they will have an epiphany together...If the boys are ever returned to her, I sure hope she does clean herself up.

March 11 - 11 years on this site!

March 12th, 2017 at 02:01 am

I have been blogging for 11 years! Hard to believe.

I remember when I started blogging I had stopped working and was home helping my son start his business, babysitting my first grandbaby and helping take care of my elderly parents.

Having left my job, I was looking for ideas for saving money and making ends meet and stumbled on this site.

Seems like a life time ago... My grandson is now almost a teenager (he still makes me waffles from scratch with the 'secret ingredient'), both of my parents are gone, my son's first business failed (but he is now 3 years into his very successful second business), and I returned to my former job!

And along the way, Ive made some great friendships here...even met some of you in person- A few here on the west coast, one on the east coast and a couple in between!! Weve laughed and cried and struggled and succeeded...

And I have learned so much from everyone.

Cheers friends! Here's to many more years of friendship and camaraderie!

Two steps back, treading water or making progress.

March 10th, 2017 at 08:40 pm

Two steps back, treading water or making progress. Some months it’s a combination of all three.

I am making slow and steady progress on debt. Last year I helped DD2 out financially when she lost her job. Today I finally paid off that debt. (yay). DD2 is still unemployed, but she is also still fostering Z and his brother, going to school full time and able to draw unemployment- so she is in a good financial place now. My next debt focus will be back to paying off the remodel on the house.

I have been able to stick with my new year’s resolutions for a healthier lifestyle and it is paying off. I went to the doctor last week and my blood pressure was a little lower than what they say is normal …which makes mine much lower than it’s been in years. I could come off the bp med now, but the med also helps control my migraines, so I am reluctant to. It just feels great that a change in diet has made such a huge difference. Ive lost some weight too - not a great deal, but enough to tell a difference!! 
Our trip back to Hawaii is sneaking up on us. Next month already! I cant wait! We planned this almost 2 years ago – which has allowed lots of time for happy anticipation and saving $$. We are READY.

The hubs job is still going ok. However, he is preparing his resume and looking at other options just in case things go south. (He works in the oil industry in Alaska and continued employment is a big question mark lately!)

Z and X are still with us and doing GREAT. BM has a new baby due any day. Because she is not considered a safe option for the older 3 kids, DHS will likely place the new baby in foster care as well. The dad is in jail, has been for several weeks. BM and the dad are in a different state than we are, so I suspect that the baby will be placed more local to them. There is a review board meeting for long term placement of the boys next week. They have now been with DD2 over 6 months, which opens some doors for permanency- it just depends on the board’s recommendation. Since BM has made no efforts for reform, adoption is one option they will be considering.

Annual raise, promotion and bonus...Its a good month!

February 5th, 2017 at 09:47 pm

I received my annual increase and promotion- all in all came to just under a 10% increase. Not bad. And hopefully, next year the increases will be even a little more once these new positions can be equitably scored. PLUS, I received my annual bonus, which goes into a special 2% interest account. I have let this ride for the past year and this account is now up to $7300. (yay) This is part of our emergency savings and it will hopefully just continue to grow until I retire. My goal is to have it hit $20k in 3 more years.

I also started on a healthy eating plan the day after Christmas, so a month and a half ago. I am pleased with progress. I continue to have broth based soups for lunch, lots of quinoa and chicken for dinner, healthy snacks...along with an occasional treat.

Of course, staying on track is easier when I am home alone...the hub is home for the next two weeks and he usually cooks dinners while he is here. I have talked with him about my food plan and dont think it should be a problem.

I have also started decluttering. We have a classified section on our intranet at work, so I have taken a couple of things in to sell and have been successful. Yay! Its a win win to get rid of stuff, make some $$ and NOT have to have a yard sale to do it!!

My middle granddaughter has had juvenile arthritis since she was 2- so 8 years. She has been in remission for a while, but recently started experiencing pain in her ankle again. Poor thing had to have an MRI that also required an IV. She was a real trooper through it. She has been poked so many times that, while she still gets anxious and dreads the needles, she doesnt even flinch. She was in the MRI for over an hour. We will find out the results this next week. As a treat, her mom and dad took her to dinner of her choice and she got a teddy bear. It is so unfair when children have to go through long term medical issues like this. Breaks a grammas heart!

BM is still in jail. Looks like she will be there until mid February. The next meeting for the kids is the day before she goes to court on her current charges and potentially gets out of jail. In the meantime, I had a great time with Z yesterday!

It is Court Week!

January 23rd, 2017 at 11:42 pm

This is court week for the kids. Thursday we will finally learn their fate, at least near to mid-term. Long term decisions will be set in motion by the results on Thursday. The DA has collected ample evidence to fight a good battle for the kids. Hopefully it is enough. You just never know how a judge will rule until the ruling happens.

I am happy to say that the boys are thriving and everyone in the system can tell a huge difference in their behavior from the time they came back into the system and our lives, until now. Any prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes are all greatly appreciated!

I will (hopefully) learn this week what my pay increase at work will be. It feels a little backwards to be offered a position without knowing in advance what the pay is. I think it has been assumed I am all in, but whether or not I agree to the added stress of stepping back into management greatly depends on the compensation behind it. (I know, call me crazy) I am hopeful it will be well worth it, but I won’t know for sure until we have the ‘discussion’.

I decided to sign up for YNAB after giving it a free trial run. I am still not fully sure how to use everything, but it is helping me stay focused on what we spend…which is never a bad thing.

Since the day after Christmas I have been focused in a healthier eating lifestyle and I feel so much better. (I got the stomach flu, followed by a bad cold- which was a nice springboard to the change in eating habits)… I have been making lots of broth based lower sodium soups, veggies and hummus, greek yogurts, etc. I also swapped out the nightly wine for spritzer water with juice or just lemon water. It is amazing how simple changes can really have an impact, but they sure have.

Hopefully these changes will help with weight goals too. We have had a vacation to Hawaii planned for over a year and it is now 87 days away! I would love to be a more comfortable in my clothes for that trip!

This week, the focus is all on the boys…and praying that they continue to stay in our care. (Baby 4 is due in under 2 months and mom is still denying there is anything she needs to change, but freely admits when she thinks no one is listening, that she is doing heroin and then gaming the system when the drug tests are near)

Finger crossed!

Trying YNAB and Z update

January 8th, 2017 at 05:03 am

2017 is off to an encouraging start. I have always budgeted on a spreadsheet that I created years ago, but gave YNAB a look- and decided to try out the 34 day free trial. So far, I like the ease of the program and really like that it is web based and I am able to access it on different devices. Some of the functionality is a little confusing, but I am sure it will become less so as the month plays out. I am considering subscribing for a year because of the pros of accessibility.

The hubs job is still going ok. He works in the oil industry, which is reliant on fuel production/ prices...we are trying to pay off bills and save in case he becomes unemployed- but for now it looks ok.

I am getting a raise at the end of the month- both annual and promotion. I dont know yet how much the raise will be, but I hope it is enough to fast track debt pay, increase 401ks and increase savings. (fingers crossed)

We still have not had the court date for the kids. Either weather, or Biomom being arrested have postponed court since November. Which means the boys spent the holidays with us. They have now been with us 5 months this time around. They are doing really well. Hopefully the next court date will be a go and we can learn what the long term plan is for them. Z is almost 6, and he has been in foster care over half his life. It is time to give him (them) permanency.


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