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How do you make friends at this age?

July 2nd, 2008 at 02:08 am

The hub and I are in a weird place.

We moved here about 14 years ago and did not really know anyone in the area when we moved here. He has a few family memebers, but I am not very close to them for good reasons... We have always worked opposite shifts (him nights, me days) and raised 4 kids...He is 7 years younger than me. He almost 40, I just turned 47.

But we are now at a place where we want to socialize more. We have a couple of friends from my job...but thats it, friendwise.

We are not involved with church..he never will be. Until recently, I have always felt very self-consious and avoided people I did not know in social enviornments.

So how do we make friends at this age??? (why can't all of you just live nearby...I would feel quite comfy and happy sitting down and visiting with you!!)

Have any of you encountered anything like this?? and how did you overcome it?

I have my grown kids...but sometimes, I just long to have dinner with friends.

Ideas???

Update:

My promotion was announced at work today. What a nice feeling to receive congrats from your co-workers!! I am so excited. And I have several months to transition into the new responsibilities. The most exciting is that I will be overseeing security...my passion. Next month when I attend the 10th anniversary celebration with the community fraud team, I can announce that I am back on the team!!!

I will not know my raise for a while yet, but I know the parameters of my position...and I am so very blessed. I honestly will be doing the job I love, making more than I ever imagined.

I found out today that mailing the invites for the luau will be $1.34 each...so we will be hand-delivering as we can...but mailing the others and working the postage into the budget.

Lots to think about...

9 Responses to “How do you make friends at this age?”

  1. klbb90 Says:
    1214966431

    Congrats on the promotion! Socializing, maybe start with people you do business with in you community. Join some kind of club of activity. Sounds funny but their are Dart leagues, pool leagues, bowling leagues, baseball teams, card playing groups. Hope this helps.

  2. sillyoleme Says:
    1214967697

    I wouldn't know about the friend thing... I'm 22 and I have a hard time feeling comfortable enough to hang out with new people! I have started to get close to a few people from work, but the position I'm in keeps me from really becoming friends.

    I agree with klbb90... a bowling league or similar sounds like a good idea. That way you all have a common "purpose" in hanging out, so it would be less awkward in the beginning. Good luck! Smile

  3. baselle Says:
    1214968652

    You want to build a network on what you have. You have friends at work, and if they have friends, you can socialize with them. You've come back in with the community fraud team, and teams in general each have a secondary network. Also, what about neighbors? If you have a neighborhood watch you can socialize with them with a common goal that you already are passionate about.

    The network is only one piece, though. The other piece is you and yours. You have to be open, be able to do small talk, listen and assess. Are these people interesting or comfortable? Do they find you interesting? I've found that as I have turned 40 and beyond I'm less self-conscious ... and I'm more willing to fail, which helps a lot.

  4. Lost in Debt Says:
    1214999023

    Congrats on the promotion. I'm older and am moving to a new town in a few months. I've been wondering how I make new friends too and I think the best way will be through maybe joining a gym or maybe I can take a class. I will also try to get to know other professionals that work in the housing market in my new area; that could lead to new friends as well.

  5. Carolina Bound Says:
    1215001283

    I always found friends at work. Now that I'm not working, and living in a new area, I am missing friendships. I see my family a lot, but I've learned that quite different than having a friend! I am not churchy either. I guess I have no advice, just commiseration!

  6. Ima saver Says:
    1215005543

    When I lived in fla., I was a member of the Jr. women's club, so I had quite a few friends. When I moved to the boondocks (here) I had no friends. The locals were nothing like I was used to.
    Then I joined a local forum on this computer. After a few months, we decided to have a "gathering" for lunch. Now, we get together several times a year for parties, lunch, etc. We just had a cook out last Sunday night and we are having a party on 4th of July. Most of them are younger than I am, but they like to party like I do.

    I wish you lived close by. We would be good friends, I am sure. Hey, I have a hubby 7 years younger than me too!!

  7. Broken Arrow Says:
    1215028302

    That's an interesting question. I'm still looking at meetups.com. I haven't found anything yet, but you may be able to find something in your area!

  8. helpmefriend Says:
    1215612093

    Having a luau is the perfect way to see how many friends you really do have.
    I recently had a bar-b-que on the first day of summer.
    I mailed out at least 20 invites.
    How many people showed up? My true friends who were there to help me set the thing up in the beginning.
    My mom came with her boyfriend. You could ask people that are coming to bring someone new with them.
    Best of luck and have fun. Don't worry about having friends, enjoy the ones you have.

  9. CountingPennies Says:
    1215920976

    I don't think it's an age thing. I've always had a hard time making new friends, even when I was 20. I'm now 31 and it hasn't changed. In any case, I think finding activities you enjoy will go a long way. Join a local club, take up a sport or sign up for a class together. You'll run into other people with the same interests.

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