It was a great party, great turnout, lots of food, drink..the weather was a nice 70ish...Everyone, especially the hub- who is now 40... had a great time!
We DID go over budget for some last minute expenses...but not enough to worry about.
My one bothersome point was that the hubs father who came solo..(he and wife were camp hosts...so she stayed behind to host...he came solo) They have been married for a little over 2 years. She is 50, he 68.
HE got very intoxicated, made many comments (not-very complimentary) about his wife. Suggested they were heading for divorce...and then proceeded to hit on at least 5 women at the party from age 52- age 22!! And two of them are married ...I learned the following day that they all were pretty offended.
I knew about two..One told me not to worry about it...she just took care of it herself..another left with her husband right after..but I MADE my husband apologize to her and her husband before they left.
The hub and I were not aware of most of dads obnoxious behavior...I tried to clean up after him as much as possible, apologizing for his obnoxiousness...but this is not the first time he has acted like this...just never to this degree before.
A little history...there is no love lost between FIL and I primarily because he is so obtuse. It has caused many bumps in the road and I have refused to spend time with the hubs extended family because of FIL. This was the FIRST time I have been around most of them since MIL died 6 years ago. SO...I was also trying not to make waves because it was the HUBs big party.
So, here I am a few days later...FIL has gone home to wife...no call to apologize (I am sure in his eyes, he was the hit of the party...gag)
So what do I do at this point? Ive apologized to the ladies...the youngest is my soon to be new Son-In Law's younger sister and their family is NOT happy that he hit on her (she had a little too much to drink but was definately not asking for his attention.She was trying to be polite since it was her brothers new family relative...unfortunately, I didnt find out about this one today when my daughter enlightened me)
These two families will be getting together for upcoming holidays...wife is unaware...and SILs family is angry with him. I don't want to wait until we are all in the same room singing Silent Night to address it. But I don't want to be the one to tell the wife...and I do not want the new family feeling like we think this is acceptable.
Where would you start? What would you do?
Survived the LUAU...but I need advice for the mess my FIL created...
September 2nd, 2008 at 02:38 am
September 2nd, 2008 at 02:49 am 1220320142
my mother is horrible when she is drunk. i've told her a few times i hate how she is like that, and i have begun to exclude her from some things. i think she has begun to wake up to it. the worst thing you can do is sweep it under the rug. if you apologise and keep things in the dark, they think it wasn't that bad, and don't make amends or try to stop their behavious, because they never get in trouble for it.
September 2nd, 2008 at 03:13 am 1220321581
Nevertheless, I wouldn't tolerate such behavior, family or not, drunk or otherwise. I would probably have to manhandle and remove that individual physically before he did any more damage.
Anyways, such behavior must be very frustration and I'm sorry to hear that for you.
September 2nd, 2008 at 03:45 am 1220323501
September 2nd, 2008 at 04:34 am 1220326489
I'd definitely call FIL, no matter how icky - might want to have both the hub and you do it. Since FIL is pretty obtuse and obnoxious when loaded, I think your goal is pretty clear - 1. get the facts about what FIL said while he is sober and 2. his behavior is unacceptable in your house and will not be tolerated.
If FIL and wife are really getting a divorce, wife probably has a fair idea of his behavior.
September 5th, 2008 at 06:11 am 1220591482