DD3 has a close friend that is having a baby anyday. Friend is 19...unmarried...dirt poor...she and the babies father are moving into a townhouse on Friday...which is the day the baby is due. Their current apartment is $540 a month and the townhouse is only $400- (on a busy street in a less than desirable part of town...) and they need every little bit they can get. She stopped by tonight to visit. She didnt get to take birth classes. And she doesnt have a good coach picked out to help her through delivery. I talked to her for a couple of hours on what to expect...trying to emphasize on the important things that she should try to remember...
She doesnt have things like a robe, nursing bras, nursing pads, etc...they are still waiting on a cradle...thankfully they have a car seat.
I asked her if she had a plan for meals when she is out of the hospital...no. Does boyfriend cook? no. They share a twin bed....but they will have room-mates to help out...
omg.
She had no idea she could shower or take a bath in the hospital to help with contractions...or that there is a ball she can sit on...or...or....or.
She asked me if it was ok to go to the hospital if her water broke before Friday.
omg.
So I shared as much as I thought she could take in...and just gave her money to go buy a robe, some comfy, button up the front jammies, a couple of nursing bras and some nursing pads...and some really good feminine pads for when she goes home.
Her dad told her to think about having her next baby soon so they would be 'close together'....WTF. omg.
Now that I realize she has so little support, I will keep a closer eye on her.
Babies having babies....sigh
March 10th, 2011 at 04:03 am
March 10th, 2011 at 04:27 am 1299731227
March 10th, 2011 at 04:38 am 1299731935
March 10th, 2011 at 05:14 am 1299734046
March 10th, 2011 at 01:03 pm 1299762228
Yep, keep an eye on her and the baby, too!
March 10th, 2011 at 01:40 pm 1299764455
March 10th, 2011 at 02:20 pm 1299766817
March 10th, 2011 at 02:57 pm 1299769063
Thank you for taking care of this girl as much as you can. If you can, go to the used bookstore and buy her What to Expect In the First Year, a baby ear thermometer and baby acetominaphin. Those are things she'll need and most likely won't be able to afford and will bring HER piece of mind when it comes to immunizations and the middle of the night ear infection.
Bless you! And prayers for her delivery and well-being!
March 10th, 2011 at 03:27 pm 1299770844
But if you're looking for another idea to help her out:
There are these little lightweight seat/hammock things that can vibrate and have little toys hanging down from the handle--it was a LIFESAVER because it kept AA calm and helped her nap. She spent many an hour strapped in that little seat, and I could even carry it into the bathroom so I could shower yet know she was safe.
Also, tell her to always put her baby on its back for naps and sleep! And no loose bedding in the crib! OMG is right. What to Expect should have all the info she needs in it.
Wishing this girl all the luck in the world...
March 10th, 2011 at 09:59 pm 1299794386
This is wrong on so many levels. She has a hard road ahead. Hopefully, she has a good birth nurse at the hospital. It can make all the difference.
Is her mom nearby to help?
March 10th, 2011 at 10:54 pm 1299797690
March 11th, 2011 at 12:49 am 1299804546
March 11th, 2011 at 01:52 am 1299808320
March 12th, 2011 at 01:26 am 1299893172
If she has a boy I've got hand-me-downs I could send to you if you'd like.
Glad you're getting her the book, it's a really good one. And I second CeeJay - a bouncy chair is a MUST have.
It might not be too late to find a birthing class. Some are just one or two days over a weekend. Maybe you could check it out for her. Our 'refresher' was a weekend and it cost $55.
All the luck to her and her baby.
March 12th, 2011 at 09:51 pm 1299966693
March 13th, 2011 at 02:01 am 1299981661
DF's mum was 19 when she had him, but she did have a lot of family support. encourage her to seek mothers groups, playgroups, free support groups and seminars etc. Being in a supportive circle, even if it is just a group of other young mums, helps hugely. I hope everything goes well for her. Either the father will step up (it does happen) or he will not and she will hopefully realise it. Either way, it will be a tough journey but she will be a strong young woman.
March 13th, 2011 at 06:45 pm 1300041938
March 21st, 2011 at 03:50 am 1300679417
Classes... one can learn everything one needs on the internet (though judging from her question about water breaking she has obviously not been doing that). As for coaches, nurses and doctors can do that, I only needed DH for emotional support (I can't imagine doing it without him).
The rest of what you wrote is scary. I would think any future mom would try to read up to know how to take care of the baby.
That poor little baby. It sounds like these people have no idea what they are in for.
March 21st, 2011 at 01:01 pm 1300712474
Thankfully I had a very caring future-mother-in-law. My best friend who had no idea about babies, learned with me, and was my rock to lean against, as the dad wasn't standing so close then.
There is a ton to learn, worry about, but don't.
The baby will be fine, the mom will grow as she goes, and with support from your son and you, she'll do fine!
March 22nd, 2011 at 03:12 am 1300763575
They will get out of the hospital tomorrow. I will be here to help however I can...and hopefully her village of support will help grow a healthy, happy little girl.