Gramma Ray's Blog

I have been blogging for 11 years! Hard to believe.

I remember when I started blogging I had stopped working and was home helping my son start his business, babysitting my first grandbaby and helping take care of my elderly parents.

Having left my job, I was looking for ideas for saving money and making ends meet and stumbled on this site.

Seems like a life time ago... My grandson is now almost a teenager (he still makes me waffles from scratch with the 'secret ingredient'), both of my parents are gone, my son's first business failed (but he is now 3 years into his very successful second business), and I returned to my former job!

And along the way, Ive made some great friendships here...even met some of you in person- A few here on the west coast, one on the east coast and a couple in between!! Weve laughed and cried and struggled and succeeded...

And I have learned so much from everyone.

Cheers friends! Here's to many more years of friendship and camaraderie!

Two steps back, treading water or making progress. Some months it’s a combination of all three.

I am making slow and steady progress on debt. Last year I helped DD2 out financially when she lost her job. Today I finally paid off that debt. (yay). DD2 is still unemployed, but she is also still fostering Z and his brother, going to school full time and able to draw unemployment- so she is in a good financial place now. My next debt focus will be back to paying off the remodel on the house.

I have been able to stick with my new year’s resolutions for a healthier lifestyle and it is paying off. I went to the doctor last week and my blood pressure was a little lower than what they say is normal …which makes mine much lower than it’s been in years. I could come off the bp med now, but the med also helps control my migraines, so I am reluctant to. It just feels great that a change in diet has made such a huge difference. Ive lost some weight too - not a great deal, but enough to tell a difference!! 
Our trip back to Hawaii is sneaking up on us. Next month already! I cant wait! We planned this almost 2 years ago – which has allowed lots of time for happy anticipation and saving $$. We are READY.

The hubs job is still going ok. However, he is preparing his resume and looking at other options just in case things go south. (He works in the oil industry in Alaska and continued employment is a big question mark lately!)

Z and X are still with us and doing GREAT. BM has a new baby due any day. Because she is not considered a safe option for the older 3 kids, DHS will likely place the new baby in foster care as well. The dad is in jail, has been for several weeks. BM and the dad are in a different state than we are, so I suspect that the baby will be placed more local to them. There is a review board meeting for long term placement of the boys next week. They have now been with DD2 over 6 months, which opens some doors for permanency- it just depends on the board’s recommendation. Since BM has made no efforts for reform, adoption is one option they will be considering.

I received my annual increase and promotion- all in all came to just under a 10% increase. Not bad. And hopefully, next year the increases will be even a little more once these new positions can be equitably scored. PLUS, I received my annual bonus, which goes into a special 2% interest account. I have let this ride for the past year and this account is now up to $7300. (yay) This is part of our emergency savings and it will hopefully just continue to grow until I retire. My goal is to have it hit $20k in 3 more years.

I also started on a healthy eating plan the day after Christmas, so a month and a half ago. I am pleased with progress. I continue to have broth based soups for lunch, lots of quinoa and chicken for dinner, healthy snacks...along with an occasional treat.

Of course, staying on track is easier when I am home alone...the hub is home for the next two weeks and he usually cooks dinners while he is here. I have talked with him about my food plan and dont think it should be a problem.

I have also started decluttering. We have a classified section on our intranet at work, so I have taken a couple of things in to sell and have been successful. Yay! Its a win win to get rid of stuff, make some $$ and NOT have to have a yard sale to do it!!

My middle granddaughter has had juvenile arthritis since she was 2- so 8 years. She has been in remission for a while, but recently started experiencing pain in her ankle again. Poor thing had to have an MRI that also required an IV. She was a real trooper through it. She has been poked so many times that, while she still gets anxious and dreads the needles, she doesnt even flinch. She was in the MRI for over an hour. We will find out the results this next week. As a treat, her mom and dad took her to dinner of her choice and she got a teddy bear. It is so unfair when children have to go through long term medical issues like this. Breaks a grammas heart!

BM is still in jail. Looks like she will be there until mid February. The next meeting for the kids is the day before she goes to court on her current charges and potentially gets out of jail. In the meantime, I had a great time with Z yesterday!

Court went well. BM ended up pleading guilty to all charges and the kids will stay put for now. The judge handed down a long list of things BM must do before the court will consider returning custody and BMs attorney assured the judge BM would comply.

Fast forward ONE DAY and BM was arrested at a drug house in the company of the person she was ordered to stay away from, plus resisting arrest, evading, contraband, etc, etc… …basically disobeying every item on the list from the judge. As of now, BM remains in jail- day 4.

Sigh.

So, we continue on with the system. It sounds like she will receive an additional 6 months to comply with the court orders or likely lose parental rights permanently.

This is court week for the kids. Thursday we will finally learn their fate, at least near to mid-term. Long term decisions will be set in motion by the results on Thursday. The DA has collected ample evidence to fight a good battle for the kids. Hopefully it is enough. You just never know how a judge will rule until the ruling happens.

I am happy to say that the boys are thriving and everyone in the system can tell a huge difference in their behavior from the time they came back into the system and our lives, until now. Any prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes are all greatly appreciated!

I will (hopefully) learn this week what my pay increase at work will be. It feels a little backwards to be offered a position without knowing in advance what the pay is. I think it has been assumed I am all in, but whether or not I agree to the added stress of stepping back into management greatly depends on the compensation behind it. (I know, call me crazy) I am hopeful it will be well worth it, but I won’t know for sure until we have the ‘discussion’.

I decided to sign up for YNAB after giving it a free trial run. I am still not fully sure how to use everything, but it is helping me stay focused on what we spend…which is never a bad thing.

Since the day after Christmas I have been focused in a healthier eating lifestyle and I feel so much better. (I got the stomach flu, followed by a bad cold- which was a nice springboard to the change in eating habits)… I have been making lots of broth based lower sodium soups, veggies and hummus, greek yogurts, etc. I also swapped out the nightly wine for spritzer water with juice or just lemon water. It is amazing how simple changes can really have an impact, but they sure have.

Hopefully these changes will help with weight goals too. We have had a vacation to Hawaii planned for over a year and it is now 87 days away! I would love to be a more comfortable in my clothes for that trip!

This week, the focus is all on the boys…and praying that they continue to stay in our care. (Baby 4 is due in under 2 months and mom is still denying there is anything she needs to change, but freely admits when she thinks no one is listening, that she is doing heroin and then gaming the system when the drug tests are near)

Finger crossed!

2017 is off to an encouraging start. I have always budgeted on a spreadsheet that I created years ago, but gave YNAB a look- and decided to try out the 34 day free trial. So far, I like the ease of the program and really like that it is web based and I am able to access it on different devices. Some of the functionality is a little confusing, but I am sure it will become less so as the month plays out. I am considering subscribing for a year because of the pros of accessibility.

The hubs job is still going ok. He works in the oil industry, which is reliant on fuel production/ prices...we are trying to pay off bills and save in case he becomes unemployed- but for now it looks ok.

I am getting a raise at the end of the month- both annual and promotion. I dont know yet how much the raise will be, but I hope it is enough to fast track debt pay, increase 401ks and increase savings. (fingers crossed)

We still have not had the court date for the kids. Either weather, or Biomom being arrested have postponed court since November. Which means the boys spent the holidays with us. They have now been with us 5 months this time around. They are doing really well. Hopefully the next court date will be a go and we can learn what the long term plan is for them. Z is almost 6, and he has been in foster care over half his life. It is time to give him (them) permanency.

This has been a year of travels- not all planned, but all worthwhile. New York, Arizona, Oklahoma, Mexico...next stop- Las Vegas for a conference for work. (Meaning all expenses paid by my job.) I leave Sunday and will come back Thursday morning- just in time for the next court date.

DD2 was planning to go with me, but that was before she became a full time foster mom again. So, I will be going alone.

This past weekend, I had two of my granddaughters (cousins) over for a sleepover. They have reached an age where they are pre-teen friends. It is such a new, fun dynamic. When their moms were their ages, they fought a lot. Having the daughters get along so well is so fun. We went to a movie, lunch, baked, watched movies at home, decorated the tree...and just had a good time together. I am so blessed.

Not much different happening in the financial scheme. Just trying to keep Christmas spending within budget- and planning DD3s 25th birthday party. She is a Christmas eve baby- this year we are planning her party for the 30th so hopefully more people can come.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Today is black Friday, and I am unmotivated to partake. Part of this is because I am dealing with a cracked rib- which happened on the first day of vacation a couple of weeks ago- on our way to the cruise. Grrr. It is much less painful than it was on the cruise, but it is still causing me to be less energetic than normal. Aside from the rib,the cruise was fantastic. We had an awesome time, and even better, stayed within budget. Actually came home with a few hundred dollars to put back into the travel fund.

The hub starts his 4/2 rotations this go-round, which will definitely help. The extra will go towards paying back the money loaned to DD2 while she is unemployed and not receiving unemployment (hopefully she will start receiving her benefits next week). She will pay us back with her taxes, and that will ultimately go to savings.

Court got postponed for the kids- which was a good thing. It gives the state more time to build their case. The kids have since been diagnosed with PTSD, which is so sad- but the diagnosis will help with the case to keep them here and provide extra counseling assistance. Our next court date is week after next.

Z (5) and I had a sleepover Wednesday night. It was so fun. We played Candyland (he won) we put a puzzle together (he is a master puzzle builder) and we played with blocks...he is getting so big. He is a lot more reserved and doesn't smile as much as he once did..my goal is to turn that around while we have him.

Life is good!

This past month has been crazy stressful.

DH's job continues to look for ways to cut corners, which ultimately is going to cost workers a substantial amount...between health care provider changes, travel provider changes, hour cutbacks....egads. We keep skimming expenses. But it still is frustrating. I am grateful he still has a job.

Thankfully, I am getting a promotion at work soon, and I think the increase in my pay will offset most of the financial hit. I will find out in the next few weeks.

We are taking a cruise next weekend to Mexico. This was planned and paid for long before all this job stuff happened, and we could seriously use the break. Thankfully cruises to Mexico from the west coast are fairly inexpensive. Its our first and we are excited to give cruising a try!

Z update:

We have an important hearing coming up for the kids. Unfortunately, the bio family, rather than focus on fixing whats broke and creating a safe environment themselves (rehab, parenting classes, home visits, etc) are denying there is a problem, and rather, are doing everything possible to disqualify DD2 as a viable placement option. (false reports to her job, the police, child walfare, etc) The stress is taking its toll. Because of the constant distractions, DD2 lost her job. But she is keeping the best interests of the Kids at the forefront. Thankfully, the false accusations are all failing flat, the agencies are seeing right through this... and its only making the case stronger for the kids being removed permanently. I am concerned about whats next once they realize this latest barrage didn't work. DD2 will likely get a restraining order, just to help protect herself and the kids.

The hearing cant come soon enough. Their tactics are definitely out of our way of thinking...who knew it would get this ugly.

If only they would put this much effort into self reflection and counseling...

The northwest is having some fun this weekend with a big ol storm. So far today, it is just drizzling and the winds haven't picked up, but by midday that is due to change.

I am planning to just stay home today. I could use some downtime after the past few weeks. My plan- a puzzle, some baking, some tv, reading, and thats about it. Sounds blissful. Hopefully, we wont lose power, but if we do, I am prepared with flashlights, candles and my wood stove. I have some soup that I can heat up on the wood stove...and plenty of water.

Ive been avoiding the budget the past month. Too many unexpected things have come up. Thankfully, the hubs busy season is about to start and we can get back on track quickly. Barring any unexpected cutbacks at his job, we should be caught back up by the end of January, and back to paying things off for the rest of winter/early spring.

We attended the hearing for the boys this week. BM is out of state, and refusing to admit she has any issues and refusing all help. (She has admitted to one of the fathers that she is still using while pregnant) During the meeting, it became fairly clear that DD2 is becoming the most likely long term placement, as all other options either only want one of the boys (and they wont separate them), or live out of state (and they wont move them from their sister who is here local) or they have criminal charges that disqualify them.

It is very confusing to have 4 children, 4 fathers, 8 sets of grandparents and extended family...for this case. The caseworkers have their work cut out for them.

DD2s approach now that we know this, is to welcome the extended families to be part of our village so that the kids can have close relationships with whichever family they are connected to, while ensuring they are safe, happy and together. Unconventional, yet necessary in this situation.

The last we heard, BM broke up with the dad of the baby she is pregnant with and has hooked up with an old friend who just got out of prison. (Charges: meth and theft)

And so it goes.

My DB had a massive heart attack a couple of weeks ago. He was placed in a medically induced coma and underwent other medical procedures to help him recover. Sadly, he never regained consciousness. I flew back to be with him on day 4 and flew home on day 9...he passed on day 11. Tomorrow is his memorial. I will miss him greatly.

Tuesday is a big hearing for Z and his baby brother X. Their mother has made no attempt to visit them since they were put back in foster care. Nor has anyone else. Thankfully, they both seem to be adjusting well. The baby is warming up to us and is quickly winning over our hearts. DD2 had to cut back her hours at work to be able to accommodate all of the appts the boys have had. They were both way behind on shots and have had all their other normal check ups. So far, so good. I hope TUesday's meeting gives them some much needed stability in their placement. The goal is to keep them together while determining permanent placement.

Thats pretty much been my life lately. My brother and the boys. Of course work in between.

I have been really enjoying everyone's lists. I have learned a great deal about everyone reading them and am happy to see so many others jumping in with their lists!

Today I realized that I made a budget mistake this month. Thankfully, it was in a good way. I get 3 paychecks in September and only budgeted for 2. The extra $$ will go towards debt repayment. (Yay!) I can handle a good mistake!!

The little guys went to children's advocacy today- and got to share their story and thoughts with protective services in a non-threatening environment. It sounds like the kids shared enough concerning memories, that they will be in protected custody for a long time to come. THANK GOODNESS. I am finally breathing a sigh of relief tonight.

I stopped by DD2s after work to deliver the clothes I got at Goodwill and that have been donated by coworkers and friends. It was fun to watch all the kiddos having fun. No craziness in their lives, just good old fashioned, hide n go seek kinda fun.

Years ago, saving advice bloggers posted a list of unique facts about themselves, that helped fellow bloggers and lurkers(- not my word) get to know each other better. Since it's been so long, I thought maybe this would be something fun to do again.

Here is my list:
1. I am married, 26 years
2. I have 4 kids. 3 daughters, 1 son
3. I have 6 grandkids, 3 boys, 3 girls plus 3 foster grandkids, 2 boys, 1 girl
4. I work full time at a job I have been at over 20 years
5. I have blogged here for 10 years.
6. I am a huge Greenbay Packers fan.
7. I once bred labrador retreivers
8. I once lived in a haunted house
9. I wont eat wild game meat
10. I co-founded a financial fraud team that has grown statewide and has stopped many financial criminals.
11. I have only traveled to the US and Mexico.
12. My bucket list destinations include Mt. Rushmore and Easter Island
13. I am fascinated by ancient mysteries (like Stonehenge)
14. My all-time hero is John Wayne
15. I hope to retire in 2020
16. I love to bake.
17. My husband works in Alaska and I only see him about 50% of the year
18. I have lived in 13 houses during my life, and have owned 9 cars.
19. I have a published article and have been on TV 2 times
20. I have met 7 fellow SA bloggers. I hope to meet more!


So, I have offered 20 facts. How many can you share? Looking forward to see what you share!

ps. If you are a 'lurker' who hasnt started blogging yet, what's holding you back? I am SURE you have things to share with our group... JOIN US!! We would enjoy hearing from you!!!

I stopped by Goodwill tonight on my way home to look for fall clothes for J (foster baby, 16 mo). I was able to pick up 3 pairs of pants, 4 tops, 2 zip up sweaters and 2 pairs of warm jammies for $20. ALl of the clothes were good quality and in really good condition. Thank goodness for Goodwill!

While I was checking out, I was explaining what the clothes were for- the lady checking me out said "I have 9 grandkids and ALL of them are in foster care"...She said it was due to drugs and the epidemic we have. I was speechless. I wished her well and left feeling even more frustrated for children. WTH.

I want to try to find some age appropriate toys for both boys this weekend. I am starting with the power of Facebook, and will look for sales, yard sales, etc. we also have an avenue at work for placing classified ads. We have many younger parents who might have toys that have been outgrown. Past experience tells me that plastic containers, metal containers and wooden and plastic spoons will work for the baby. Blocks and pretend play for Z (age 5) and maybe a few books.

So, my mission this weekend is to scavenger hunt!

The final hurdle DD2 had to overcome was having her home certified for foster care. That means, background checks, references, fire extinguishers, fire alarms, kid locks, locked up cleaning supplies, no accessible fire arms or other hunting equipment, sufficient beds, no aggressive pets, and a tidy home. Her home was certified tonight! YAY.

Now, let's get back to routine life!

I have been trying to eat healthier the past few months. Cutting back on foods that arent good..and adding foods that are. Today, I went to the local co-op market and picked up some banana chips thinking that would make a healthy snack. Unfortunately, I looked it up when I got back to work and not so much. The coconut oil that is used is not as healthy as it sounds....so back to the drawing board.

Earlier this year, I inherited a black lab from my former brother in law who passed away. His name is Shotgun (cause he rode shotgun in the truck with BIL)...Tonight I learned that Shotgun wants to carry the mail home from the mail box. I had no idea. He walked down with me, and when I pulled out the mail, he grinned and opened his mouth and took the mail from my hand...then proceeded to walk (prance) home with it and gave it back once we were in the house. OMG. It was so cute. I knew he would go get the paper for my BIL, but we dont get a paper here...apparently, he would get the mail too! What a sweet surprise.

Today was the court date.

As it turned out, our case was last on the morning docket- meaning there were 4 other cases heard before ours.

Child after child being placed in foster care because of unhealthy home environments. Drugs and neglect in each situation...a brand new nursing baby removed from its 18 year old mother, a 13 year old crying as she was told she was removed from her home- a home with drugs and 9 dogs, a child that neither parent bothered to show for court. Just gut wrenching case after case.

When our case came, it wasnt much different. In the end, 2 more kids put in foster care another child transferred to the other parent, a very upset mother and a sense of relief that the kids will be safe for a while. The sister will go to dad, the boys were placed with DD2. (Yay!)

Z is back, along with his baby brother, in DD2s care...after 22 months away. It quickly became very apparent that BM and her mom will not be making this easy and intend to fight the placement vehemently. Foster parents sometimes need a thick skin when they step in to help. Hurtful words, threats, accusations. It got ugly. Sigh.

But on a much happier note, Z was so excited about his first day at school. He had major anxiety this morning about being left by DD2, but the teacher, who knows his situation, took extra care to make his day special.

The next court date is October 27- barring any surprises, the placement should hold until then, and beyond. DD2 was present at the hearing and the judge made a special point in thanking her for her contributions.

While I am extremely happy with the judges decision, I worry what it will do to Z if/when he is pulled again from DD2's care. He is extremely attached to her.

Time will tell. For today, lil Z and baby brother J, welcome home!

Today was thankfully low key compared to the past couple of days. We go to court tomorrow to find out what will happen with the kids in the short term. Right now there are a lot of emotions from all sides and it will be nice to get a plan in place so that everyone understands at least the legal expectations. I just hope there isnt near term turmoil for the little guys. Z starts kindergarten in the morning, so DD2 plans to make the morning special for him before heading off to court.

I spent today home with a sore throat. No bueno. At least it wasnt a work day and I was able to relax. Hopefully I will wake up all better, and ready for the busy week ahead! I can't afford to get sick right now. We have PTO at work, which means one pot for all sick and vacation time to pull from. I keep at least 40 hours on the books for an emergency, but otherwise, I use my time off. Right now, I my time off is scheduled through next May, so I am hesitant to dip into that emergency 40, unless absolutely necessary!

I ate leftovers today, and so it was a no spend day. Likely tomorrow I will go to lunch after court with DD1, who plans to go with me. Dd2 has to attend via phone since she took 2 days off last week to get the kids situated, registered, etc.

Again, thank you for all the kind wishes regarding the kids. I appreciate all of the support for them.

Last night and today were traumatic on everyone.

BM and BF were arrested late last night on outstanding warrants. DHS put all three kids in emergency placement in DD2s home.

Today BM/BF were released, but could not contact each other or DD2/kids. (who knows if they are together today or not)

DD2 spent the day making arrangements for daycare,buying diapers, and taking care of the baby who was very fussy.

Backing up a bit....Yesterday BM and BF ran out of gas. It was 100 out. BF and baby stayed with car, while BM hitchhiked to DD2s job to borrow $5. Later that night the baby was dropped of with the other kids at DD2s house. Much later, DD2 recevied the call about the arrest.

Today, the baby woke in considerable distress. An ER visit later to learn he was dehydrated from yesterday's stint in the heat.. and had to receive IV fluids. He is only 18 months old. Apparently they ran out of food and water while waiting in the hot car for BM to return and then did not hydrate him sufficiently.

Monday is court to determine placement for the kids. The father of the eldest girl wants her. So she will likely be placed with him. The boys have no family that will want them. Both of their dads are either in jail or currently homeless and in and out of jail. Extended family is not interested. So likely, they will stay with DD2 indefinitely.

Which means, here we are again. BM and her mother are angry that the kids are placed in foster care. DD2 is doing what she can to create a safe and stable home for the boys.

SMH at this turn of events. I guess we will learn more on Monday what the future holds for the kids.

I was reviewing my 401k records today and was happy to see that my account has grown almost 50k in the past year! Hopefully it will continue on this trajectory until 2020, when I plan to retire. If so, I will have met my savings goals while also paid off my debt goals and will comfortably achieved retirement goals.

I finally turned in that bag of pennies today. $21.43. It is one less thing to worry about as we declutter. I set the money aside to determine what to do with it..

I ended up leaving work early today to pick up Z and bring him home for the afternoon. He was so cute. He honestly is one of the gentlest souls I have ever met. We spent the afternoon giggling and blowing bubbles. Then met up with the rest of the family for birthday dinners. TOnight he is staying with DD1s family- visiting his other cousins.

I am ready for the weekend. Tomorrow night I am having DD1's kids over for the night. DD1 and hubby are DJing a wedding-

Otherwise,not much to report. Very concerned for Julie, aka Ima Saver. It has been quite a while since she has posted- and she had medical issues the last time she did post. I sure hope she is ok.

Does anyone know if Julie is ok? I noticed she has been ill and hasnt posted in several weeks...Not sure if anyone kept in touch with her outside of SA???

I am working on getting my frugal rhythm back this week. When the hub is home, we spend more than I do when I am home alone. So far so good. I am using up the last of my chili that I made last weekend, minus the 10 chili bean burritos that are still in the freezer. Those are still waiting for a later date.

I always have free coffee at work, rather than buying coffee on the way to. I used to spend about $3.50-4 a day, everyday...but about a year ago, I stopped. Now I prefer regular coffee over foo-foo coffee. I have even broke myself from needing creamer and just use a little sweetener.

Ive been taking lunches and trying not to spend. I did have to get gas today.

Tomorrow will be a spender though. It is DD2 and my granddaughters birthday, so I will be taking them out to dinner tomorrow night.

I am starting to plan Christmas gifts and love that I can use verizon points to give magazine subscriptions as an option. Rachel Ray, Oprah, womens magazines, teen magazines...I will see how well I can utilize those options!

Football starts tonight! I am so excited that it is once again football season. I love making soup and watching the games. I am a HUGE Packers fan. Any other Packers fans here? If not, WHO is YOUR team???

I still havent turned in the pennies. I have been pretty busy at work...but...tomorrow, I plan to bite the bullet and get it done.

Z had an awesome day with DD2...and sis made it to her first day of school. The plan is that all 3 kids will stay with DD2 again tonight. Another day for the kids to feel safe and secure. BM and BF did sleep in their car last night. They were hoping welfare would come through today so that they could get a hotel room tonight. FOr the unborn baby's sake, I hope they were successful.

Z and his sis were dropped off at DD2s job about midday today- DD2 then brought them by my job - which was such a joy! They have both grown SO much. After work, I met them at the mall so that we could get sis a new dress for school tomorrow.

Out of the mouths of babes, they talked about bits and pieces of their lives- and it was so sad- primarily to hear a 7 and 5 year old know some of the things they do. (They were sad they had to leave there toys and clothes and pets behind, "but mommy and BF were in trouble and they left during the night" and "their house was trashed with all their stuff, and cat poop" etc.) It is clear there is no filter when they are around the adults, drugs, and fighting at home. I pray the school and DHS will sort through this and help protect them.

But HOORAY...they are back for today and it was amazing to hug those sweet kiddos.

Unfortunately, BM and her bf had no place to stay tonight, so they came to the mall and picked up sis so that they had a reason to drop in on sis's aunt and see if she would let them stay there tonight. With tomorrow being her first day of school, sis was excited...so I hope BM follows through and gets her there.

Tomorrow is DD2s birthday, what a great birthday present this is for her!!!

Thanks for letting me share my Z story. I am such a happy gramma tonight!

Update: BM dropped sis and the baby off with DD2. All three will be safe tonight! Didnt expect her to leave the baby too, but DD2 welcomed all three with opened arms.

I looked up the depression glass pattern of the set that my mom had- it is called Old Colony- and its pink. The set is beautiful, but very fragile. At least now I know what it is as I determine what to do with it. Letting the dishes sit in a box will just allow them to deteriorate. I know there is someone who would appreciate them and I could put any $ from a sale towards college funds for the grandkids. I say this like I have decided, but the truth is, just thinking about selling the dishes makes me sad.

I think I will tuck my dad's coin collection away. Coins wont lose value- and maybe someday a grandchild will appreciate receiving a coin from their great grandfather.

The rest of the things, I just need to donate. It's time.

So, Z still isnt here. Supposedly BM is actually on the road today and plans to arrive at midnight. The plan tonight is that she will drop Z and his sis off at DD2s when they get to town, and DD2 will take them to school in the morning. Until it actually happens, we dont know for sure. DD2 spoke to the principal at the school today, and the principal has an appt with DHS tomorrow to start a case.

Today was a no spend day. I packed my lunch and then as I was leaving work, a co-worker offered my here pasta salad from lunch that she didn't/wont eat. (It has too much garlic for her taste) Since it was destined for the trash, I took it. Super yummy!

I found a dollar in the bottom of my computer bag tonight, so it is going into the tip bag for the cruise we are taking in November. So far I have saved $72 towards tips by turning in loose change and saving my small bills.

In our quest to declutter and downsize, we are finally starting to go through all of my parents things. Its been almost 8 years since my dad passed, and 6 since my mom. My mom had a full set of depression glass, my dad a small collection of silver coins. What to do...

My mom's depression glass is carefully packed away- in several boxes. Very beautiful, very fragile, but not something me or my girls have space for, nor do my girls want it. My dads coin collection, probably less than $500 is in a box, not taking up much space....but again- not something anyone really wants.

What do I do with keepsakes like this? Each year, my dad kept a journal..those are a no-brainer...I will keep, no question. But when it comes to things they collected, what to do?

They are heartbreaking to part with, but then just taking up space to keep. Suggestions? Do I keep for grandkids...do I sell....

Happy Labor Day friends!

We are certainly starting to feel fall in the air here in So Oregon! The mornings and evenings are chilly- weather has dropped during the day to well under triple digits. I cant wait for the leaves to start turning. Fall really is my favorite time of the year!

The word on the street is that BM (and BF and kids) are on the way here today from Washington. Also, that BM is already using again (and pregnant). She hasn't told DD2 if the kids will be allowed to stay with her or not. They start school tomorrow. Her plan is still living in the mission. Sigh.

I am going to enjoy this beautiful Labor Day at home. While the hub is in Alaska, I am trying to stay frugal- something that isn't as easy when he is home. Lately, it feels like we are on different pages where finances are concerned. I suppose that is because I am more focused on retirement, since my retirement target is about 7 years earlier than his. His allowance goes into his own checking account, but his spending comes out of the household account, because he likes to 'save' his allowance for toys. Hmmm. Definitely a disconnect there. :/

I have 2 more birthdays this week. DD2 and my granddaughter share a birthday on Thursday. I budget for birthday presents, so the $ is already there. Actually, granddaughters gift is bought, and I plan to give DD2 cash. These two are the last of a string of 8 birthdays in August and September...thank goodness!

Well, time to get productive this morning. I will post an update once we know what is happening with Z. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and kind words. This really is an emotional rollercoaster for all involved.

Unfortunately, I dont have an update for Z. It is two days later and there has been no word from or sign of BM and Z. We dont know if they are on the way, if plans changed, or what happened. This isnt uncommon for BM to change plans without any notice. DD2 held off on registering the kids at school in case something like this happened. I am still hopeful that they will arrive by Monday.

Today I made a big pot of chili so that I could make a batch of chili bean burritos for the freezer. I love having ready made dinners, and this is an easy one that I enjoy. The chili cost about $8 to make- and I had enough for 10 burritos and at least additional 5 meals of chili. Nice, easy, cheap! I stopped at the store and got celery, onion, carrots and a ham bone for red beans. I will make those on Monday. I also picked up a jar of pasta sauce on sale for $2 which I will use for 2-3 dinners. I got sandwich stuff, fruit, and enough meal makings for about 10 days for $84. I am going to try to stick to that budget for the next week, or longer. I have chicken breast in the freezer for lettuce wraps. and lots of stuff in the cupboards.

We have verizon phone service- they have a rewards program that I have never paid attention to, but each month we earn points for. The past couple of weeks I have been checking it out. I was able to get 2 free magazine subscriptions. I also got a couple of gift cards for 10% off at stores we shop at- an instant $10% savings! and there is a local BOGO dinner coupon where I like to dine...one dinner last 3 meals for me...so I will get 6 Thai meals for $15. We have over 400k points...so we will never run out - since most of the deals I am selecting are 1000 pts or less! I plan to keep an eye on deals for Christmas and birthdays. Much of the stuff is not anything I would buy, so I will be using points sparingly- and only on things we will use or need. (Unless it is 100% free, like the magazines- 1= Rachel Ray, and the other was Woman's Day)

I am enjoying the long weekend this weekend. No real plans. Which is nice.

DD2 found out thqt Z will be back in town tomorrow. Unfortunately, bio mom (BM) is expecting baby #4- and is heading here so that baby dad #4 doesnt go to jail for whatever crimes he has committed where they currently live. They are also fleeing a no contact order, since they are so volatile in front of the kids and with each other. Her plan, to live in a mission with all 3 kids. Z and his older sister are due to start school next week. Z, kindergarten, sister, 2nd grade.

DD2 has asked BM to let Z and sis stay at her house until more permanent arrangements are made so that they have some sense of stability to start school with. I guess we will find out this weekend. My heart breaks that Z and his siblings are in such chaos. what a broke, broke system we have for kids of druggie parents. BM asked DD2 to enroll both kids at the school nearest to her home. She couldn't even enroll her own kids in school.

I am excited to see Z...but heartbroken for his continued circumstances. Out of the 3 kids, Z is the one BM never bonded with, so she leaves him with anyone that will take him. Thankfully, if she comes and stays local, 'anyone' will be our family.

Maybe baby #4 will be the turning point for Z...I can only hope and pray.

The hub left back to Alaska today. Our weather has cooled significantly the last few days - almost feels like soup weather again- so this weekend, I plan to make a pot of soup to have on hand for the weekend.

Please keep Z and his siblings in prayer, thoughts, fingers crossed, etc. I want BM to get the help she needs- but more importantly, I want the lil guys to have the security that every child needs and deserves..

so heartbreaking, frustrating and unnecessary.

Boy, this year has FLOWN by. It's hard to believe we are already half way through August!

I would love to report that we are closer to our annual financial goal than we are, of paying off the remodel debt, but alas...

We had to get our AC repaired this summer. Cost $1100.

The hub, who works on the North Slope of Alaska had all overtime cut back for most of this year, which was a significant reduction in monthly income.

Before I realized the income reduction, I had increased our 401k contributions- and now I dont want to reduce them...NO NO NO

DD2, single momma, lost over $500 in monthly benefits because she made $80 too much last year...I am still scratching my head over this logic. She is a great budgeter, but is needing some help each month for necessities.

And then lots of little things that just added up.

So, we are no where near where Id hoped this year and the forecast through December doesn't look much more promising for paying off the house remodel debt.

Hopefully, overtime will be reinstated next year...but if not, we are still making strides...just not as fast as Id hoped. At least we are going the right direction...

This weekend, my girls and I are going to see the Lion King in Portland. This trip was paid for months ago..so we are all looking forward to a weekend out of town.

Oh, and I am super excited...I just noticed my blog has now surpassed 10 million views! Holy Cow!

I am wrapping up a week of vacation this weekend. We started the week out camping last weekend, and then came home on Tuesday to a heatwave. Ive thoroughly enjoyed the week off- I had gone about 7 months since my last week off.

I go back to work for a week, and then the following week, I am off for 4 days to attend a wedding in upstate New York. It is expensive to travel to a wedding. wow. Between airfare, rental car and hotel, I have spent a small fortune...the wedding is a 'theme' wedding, which would have required added expense for a costume, but I am good just going in my normal clothes. I assume I should give the bride and groom a gift...(this is my cousins daughter)....needless to say, this trip hasn't helped our tightened budget.

My son called a few days ago to invite me to go to Arizona with him for a long weekend in July. He is scoping out locations for business expansion and wants to take a look there. I am so excited to spend one on one time with him! The business is paying all expenses, so my expenses should be minimal.

Budget-wise, I feel like we have taken a step or two backwards. The hubs 'winter season' was cut short due to the fluctuating oil prices which was a cut in finances that also put the hub home more- which usually costs more. I would have liked to be farther along in our payoff goals this year, but we are not. Also, we have a trip planned to Hawaii next spring and ticket prices are double what we paid last time we went- ouch.

I am happy that he still has his job- hopefully unemployment isn't in our future.

A year ago, I signed up for a program at work to earn a free bike. Yes, FREE. It is part of our wellness program and the offer was to ride 30 round trips to work, or 5 miles on your lunch hour and you earn the bike up to $500. I picked out a super cute beach cruiser in sky blue. I live much to far from work to do the round trip to and from work, so I have rode on my lunch hour. I have TWO more rides this week and my rides are DONE. YAY! I cant wait to bring my bike home and start using it just for fun. Later this month we are going camping and I will get to take my bike and enjoy it there!

Today was a no spend day. I always have coffee at work, free- and I took my lunch and then just had a simple dinner at home. Tomorrow should be another no spender.

Our new dog is doing great. He LOVES to fetch, more than any dog we have ever had. So I am getting some exercise in each night playing with him. He is such a sweet boy.

This coming weekend I am going to the coast for a day trip. A couple of years ago I found a long lost friend- he and I were children on the same street in southern California until we were about 8. THen, our families moved and it took 43 years before we reconnected. The magic of social media! I found him on facebook and as luck would have it, he and his wife moved to Oregon last year. It has been fun reminiscing and getting to know him again. His wife is so fun, and we have a great time together. So I am heading over to spend the day with them- and very much looking forward to it!!